


Nothing Gold Can Stay

by Devils_Official



Series: A/B/O Verse [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Courtship, Derogatory Language, Gentle Sex, Grand Romantic Gestures, Knotting, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Trauma, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Nightmares, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Planned Pregnancy, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Size Difference, Slutor, additional tags will be added as needed, disturbing imagery, i put way too much thought into the biology of this fyi, non-graphic childbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-10-08 15:09:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17388680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Official/pseuds/Devils_Official
Summary: It was supposed to be a one-time thing, just a way for Lotor to deal with his heat. It...ended up as something else.





	1. Happenstance

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a Robert Frost poem of the same name.

It was only by happenstance that Commander Sendak was visiting in the week preceding Lotor’s heat, and yet…

His heats made him a little...singleminded, and even now, before it started, it was difficult to think of much else. 

So it wasn’t really his fault that he had not heard a single word Commander Sendak had said in the last...hour? Hour-and-a-half? 

Lotor had been unusually picky about selecting his partner for this heat -normally, he’d just find an attractive alpha who wasn’t due for a peak; no one had ever refused him, because it was considered an honor to be chosen to share an omega’s heat, even a half-breed’s -but none of the alphas on his ship seemed good  _ enough _ this time around. 

It was almost like fate, then, that Sendak had shown up when he did. 

“Your highness? Are you paying attention?” Sendak asked gruffly.

“Of course,” Lotor said. “You were discussing the expected fleet movements for this quarter, and what shipments I should expect.”

Sendak’s ears twitched. “I was discussing the advancements in drone technology.”

“Of course,” Lotor said blithely. “My mistake.” 

“Are you well, your highness?” Sendak asked, a little bit of concern filtering into his voice. 

Lotor crossed his legs and smiled. “Just...under the weather.” There was nothing particularly shameful about being an omega and having heats. Just...some part of him wanted Sendak to  _ know _ . To figure it out himself.

Lotor leaned closer, baring his neck enticingly -he wasn’t in heat yet, but his body was producing pheromones intended to attract a worthy mate - and smiling coyly.

Lotor had slept with alphas, females, and other omegas at various points in his cycle, but unfortunately, biology being what it was, only an alpha could satiate him during a heat. 

He didn’t particularly like alphas the rest of the time -too brash, too rude -but before and during his heat, he couldn’t help but fawn over them.

Still, at least Sendak was attractive. And large; his knot would surely be worth any rudeness. 

“Are...you flirting with me?” Sendak asked finally, confused.

“I’m afraid I can’t help myself,” Lotor replied, in as sultry a tone as he could manage. He could help himself, if he really wanted to, but where was the fun in that? He enjoyed his heats, even if they drove him crazy, and as he got older, they got further and further apart… He might as well have as much fun as possible during each one. “It’s rare that I see such handsome alphas this far out.”

Sendak sniffed the air -it would have been surreptitious, if Lotor wasn’t completely focused on his every move -and frowned. “You’re going into heat,” he said.

“Not yet,” Lotor crooned. “But soon.” Sooner than he’d anticipated, maybe; in a few days instead of in a week. “Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find myself an alpha to spend it with.”

Lotor was hoping that Sendak would offer; most alphas did, as soon as they realized he’d go into heat soon. But Sendak didn’t. Instead, he cleared his throat and shifted a little nervously. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never spent a heat with an omega before?” Lotor cooed. It seemed unbelievable; Sendak was very attractive. Basically omega-bait. 

Sendak cleared his throat again. “I- I would never  _ ask _ ,” he said hoarsely. “It’s...impolite.”

Lotor laughed. “No alpha I’ve ever known has cared about politeness.” 

Sendak bristled at that. “I’m not most alphas.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Is this some sort of roundabout way of asking me if I want to spend your heat with you?” Sendak asked.

“Would you say yes if I asked?” 

“...Yes.” 

“That settles it, then,” Lotor said. “I’ll message you. Do you know where my quarters are?”

Sendak nodded. “Is there anything I should know beforehand?” He asked. “Anything you don’t want me to do?” 

Lotor laughed again. “Oh, I’ll let you know.” He’d preemptively kicked alphas out on more than one occasion, for being knot-headed assholes; he could do the same if Sendak ended up doing something he didn’t like. 

Not that it mattered too much; heat disinhibited quite a lot, and made everything feel much more pleasurable than it normally did. 

Frankly, as long as he got Sendak’s knot, he’d be happy. 

* * *

He tried to keep himself focused for the next few days. He wouldn’t get much of anything done during his heat, and he usually needed a day or two to recover after, so it was best to get ahead now, while he could. 

But… Well. It was difficult. An itch built under his skin, intensified every time he caught a whiff of alpha, especially if it was Sendak’s scent he smelled. 

Which was quite frequently, given that he met with Sendak several times over the course of those three days, to discuss various things.

Lotor had no idea what. He wasn’t usually this distractible, but. 

At least Sendak had made a point of saying that he would leave files on everything they’d discussed for Lotor to read at his leisure. 

It took a small eternity for his heat to actually begin in earnest, and the waiting was the worst part. 

Finally, though, he woke up early one morning -early enough that the main crew probably wasn’t even up yet - achingly empty, soaking wet, and burning up with need. 

He growled to himself, unable to remember exactly where he’d left his comms. He certainly was not going to go look for Sendak like this. 

One hand crept down between his legs, past his cock -which was, of course, hard, but only as a byproduct of this overwhelming arousal -to his slit, which was, sure enough, soaking. Dripping, even. Two fingers slid in easily- too easily; they weren’t  _ enough _ .

_ Fuck _ , he needed a knot. 

He added a third finger, pumping them in and out at a fast, rough pace, wanting to get off so his mind would be clear enough to find his comms so he could get his fucking alpha here to fuck him properly. 

Unfortunately, he could only rarely get himself off during a heat. He needed an alpha, and while his fingers might feel good for now, they only distracted him from the heat in his belly. 

He rolled over, reaching blindly with his clean hand to feel around on the bedside table, and yes, there it was.

He typed out a quick message and sunk back into the bed. He slipped his hand back down between his legs, desperate for some kind of relief, even if he knew, rationally, that he’d get it as soon as his alpha arrived. 

Consequently, he did not notice his bedroom door sliding open -he’d left his doors unlocked for this very reason - and didn’t even realize that Sendak was there until he cleared his throat. 

Lotor took a shaky breath and moaned. Even just the  _ scent _ of alpha made him impossibly wetter. Stoked the fire that he desperately needed dowsed. “ _ Alpha _ ,” he whined. “Alpha,  _ please… _ ”  


	2. Don’t Catch Feelings

Sendak hadn’t been quite sure what to expect when he entered Lotor’s quarters. Every omega was different, and since Lotor wasn’t full-blooded, he had to wonder if that would affect his heat cycle in some way. 

He hadn’t quite expected to find Lotor fingering himself so... _ wantonly _ . Hadn’t expected him to start begging right off the bat. 

Lotor couldn’t have been in heat for more than a few hours; it shouldn’t be this overwhelming  _ yet _ .  

Still, he had a very attractive omega in front of him, begging to have his brains fucked out, and he’d asked for Sendak...

“Don’t worry,” he said, once he got his mouth working again. “I’ll take care of you, my prince.” 

Lotor’s eyes were huge and dark, and he pushed himself up on one elbow, licking his lips. His other hand was still between his thighs, working his fingers in and out of his slit; he was so wet that it was the predominant scent in the room.

Sendak wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. 

There was only one way to find out. 

He didn’t bother undressing yet; Lotor looked like he was going to eat him alive if he made him wait another second, and omegas could certainly be quite sexually aggressive in their heats. 

Instead, he pulled Lotor’s wrist away, hauled his hips to the edge of the bed and knelt between his spread legs, immediately lapping up the slick on the insides of Lotor’s thighs. 

He did taste good -not sweet, exactly, but musky, natural,  _ fertile _ \- but it’d taste even better directly from the source. So, he traced his tongue over the opening of Lotor’s slit, the folds slightly swollen with his arousal.

“What-?” He began to ask, but then his voice dissolved into the most beautiful sound Sendak had ever heard an omega make.

Above him, he heard the sound of sheets ripping, but he didn’t really care.  _ Gods _ , Lotor was... _ delicious _ . And so  _ wet _ . 

Sendak thrust his tongue in, flicking it against Lotor’s internal walls; Lotor arched and cried out and writhed above him.

A hand tangled in Sendak’s crest and pulled, almost painfully. “I can’t,” Lotor pleaded desperately. “I can’t, alpha, I need- I need your knot.  _ Please _ , alpha…” 

The primal, instinctive part of Sendak wanted nothing more than to please his omega, leave him sated and pregnant.

(The slight chemical undertone of his scent told his rational brain that it would be impossible; Lotor was clearly on some form of hormonal contraceptive. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t  _ try _ .) 

But he didn’t raise his head. Not yet. The taste, the sounds Lotor made… those were addictive. He’d give Lotor his knot, soon, but first, he was going to enjoy this. 

Lotor’s thighs tightened around his shoulders, and one of his heels dug sharply into Sendak’s back, but he couldn’t have cared less, especially when Lotor cried out wordlessly and all his muscles contracted in what had to be an intense orgasm.

More slick gushed into Sendak’s mouth and down his chin, matting fur and staining his suit, and Lotor finally went limp, his chest heaving.

Sendak sat back on his heels, inordinately pleased with himself. 

Gods, Lotor was beautiful. It was probably the pheromones muddling his thoughts, but…  _ Gods _ . 

He’d known Lotor casually for years, sharing a sort of mutual ambivalence -they weren’t friends, but as long as they stayed out of the other’s way, they weren’t enemies, either -but now all he could think of was what it would be like to have Lotor in his bed, round with his children, eager for his knot and his knot alone…

“ _ Alpha _ ,” Lotor whined, breaking him out of his reverie. Lotor wouldn’t truly settle until he had a knot -any knot; Sendak was just  _ convenient _ -and it was probably best not to keep him waiting much longer. 

He stood and stripped out of his suit as quickly as possible. He’d been hard since he entered the room, but he hadn’t really noticed, too focused on Lotor.

Lotor propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes wide and round and dark, his ears pricking forward, all his focus directed to Sendak’s cock.

Which was perfectly proportionate to his height and frame. And Sendak was...large, for a Galra. 

“Alpha,” Lotor crooned, spreading his legs a little wider, tilting his head to one side, exposing his throat.           

Since Lotor had already come once, hopefully it would be easier for him to take Sendak’s knot; he was just so... _ small _ . Almost  _ delicate _ , even. 

Sendak crawled over him, taking both his wrists in one hand and pinning them above his head, then leaning down to claim his mouth in a voracious kiss. 

This would probably be the only time Lotor ever requested these services from him; it was rare for an unmated omega to spend more than one or two heats with a particular alpha, and once he was mated… Well.

But there was something...different about Lotor. Something that set him apart from the other omegas Sendak had been with. Something special.

(That was probably Lotor’s heat-scent, designed to attract and keep a mate. Nothing more.)

Lotor moaned at the taste of himself on Sendak’s lips, and then -unexpectedly- twisted free of Sendak’s hold and flipped them over, so he was astride Sendak’s hips.

“If you won’t give me what I ask for,” Lotor growled, “then I will  _ take _ it, alpha.”

Sendak’s cock jerked, hard. Lotor smirked, feral and beautiful and probably dangerous, and all Sendak could do was nod. 

And then Lotor lifted himself up on his knees, positioned Sendak’s cock, and sank down so quickly that Sendak might have blacked out a little. 

_ Shit _ , no other omega was ever going to compare to Lotor. Not after this.  

He rolled his hips, settling himself on Sendak’s cock, biting his lip and making such beautiful little noises… 

“So big, alpha, fill me up so good,” Lotor crooned, as he started to move in earnest.

And-  _ fuck _ -it was incredible. Lotor clearly knew what he was doing, even in the midst of his heat, and it drove Sendak a little crazy to know that other alphas had seen him like this, perfect and needy and lovely. 

Lotor came again, with a sharp cry, shuddering and maybe slightly overwhelmed, like he’d bitten off more than he could chew. It happened, sometimes; omegas weren’t always very good about pacing themselves while they were in heat.

He still tried to ride Sendak’s cock, but his legs wouldn’t really support his weight anymore, and finally he had to give up, growling in frustration. 

Sendak brushed away a few stray tears. “Shh,” he murmured. “I know what what you need.”

He flipped them over and turned Lotor onto his stomach -the easiest and most comfortable position to knot someone in -before pulling his hips back and sinking in, slowly; he couldn’t quite get enough of Lotor whining for his knot. 

He fucked Lotor, hard and rough, deep enough that, when he put a hand under Lotor’s belly for stability, he could feel the distension -the  _ bulge _ -of his cock.  _ Fuck _ . 

“Can you feel that?” He growled in Lotor’s ear. “Gods, you’re so fucking tiny. Can you even handle my knot?”

Lotor nodded vigorously. “Yes! Alpha, please, I need it, please, alpha…” 

Sendak’s vision whited out for a moment as he came, his knot swelling and locking them together, and that was enough to make Lotor come once again.

Lotor writhed for a few minutes more, tugging deliciously on the knot, trying to milk every last drop of come from Sendak’s cock. Finally he sighed in contentment, his heat apparently sated for now. 

Sendak guided them down onto their sides. He had no intention of crushing Lotor while they waited for his knot to go down, after all, and it would take at least fifteen minutes. Probably more, though, since he was with an omega in heat. 

Lotor nestled back against his chest, careful not to pull at his knot, and closed his eyes; he drifted off quickly.

That was probably the best idea. Lotor’s heat would be back in full force in an hour- maybe two, at the most -and it would last another three days, probably, and Sendak would need to keep up with him. So he might as well rest while he could. 

He wrapped an arm around Lotor’s waist and pulled him that much closer before closing his eyes and drifting off himself.


	3. Heat-Haze

Three days later, Lotor woke to an empty bed.

It wasn’t concerning, the way it would have been earlier in his heat. It was almost over, and he wouldn’t really need an alpha for the rest of it. 

Still… He was somewhat disappointed that Sendak had slipped away while he’d been sleeping, like some kind of-

The door to the bathroom opened, and Sendak emerged, his fur ruffled from the sonic dryer. 

“You’re still here,” Lotor said, stating the obvious.

“Yes?” Sendak replied. “I just wanted a shower. And I ran you a hot bath, if you want.”

Lotor was sore everywhere, and a hot bath did sound nice. He started pushing himself up, but then Sendak was there, scooping him up into his arms.

He was still obviously in heat, because he’d known Sendak for years and never once thought of how nice his arms were. 

There was no point in wearing clothes during a heat, so Sendak simply deposited him in the bathtub. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, not right now,” Lotor said, sinking back into the water. The warmth was already beginning to soothe his aches, and it was nice to simply relax. The last few days were sort of hazy, but. Well. Heats could be fun, but they were also incredibly draining. “You don’t have to stay for the rest,” he said after a moment. “I can handle it.”

There would be one, maybe two, more waves of his heat, thought they’d be far less intense, and while he’d want an alpha, he wouldn’t need one. Most alphas left at this point anyway, seeing no reason to stick around if he wasn’t going to put out. 

“What if I wanted to stay?” Sendak asked. 

Lotor looked up sharply. “You want to stay?”

“Long enough to make sure you don’t fall asleep in the bath and drown,” Sendak said drily. “Longer, if you wanted. I- I don’t like the idea of leaving you by yourself just yet.” 

“Oh,” Lotor said softly. It was probably his heat, but the concern Sendak was expressing made something in him sit up and take notice. He flushed. “Stay, then.” 

Sendak nodded and left the bathroom, though he did leave the door open. Presumably so he wouldn’t have to knock it down if Lotor did fall asleep and drown. 

Lotor washed leisurely and dried himself off.

When he emerged from the bathroom, he caught the smell of food, and he was suddenly reminded of how hungry he was. He hadn’t eaten in three days -heat tended to destroy his appetite for everything but sex - and he’d burned a lot of calories. 

None of the other alphas had bothered to make sure he was fed.

In fact, he had vague memories of Sendak forcing him to drink water and/or electrolyte solution several times during the last few days, which was probably why he wasn’t as shaky and wrung-out as he usually was. 

It was only after he’d eaten that he realized there were clean sheets on his bed.

The old sheets had been filthy, and probably a biohazard, so it was nice, but.

“My heat isn’t over yet,” Lotor said. “The sheets will only get dirty again.”

Sendak shrugged. “They can be changed again.” 

“Thank you,” Lotor said impulsively. He didn’t usually thank alphas after a heat -they got just as much out of it as he did -but. Well. Sendak was...different. “You didn’t have to do all of this for me.”

“It’s just common courtesy,” Sendak said.

Common courtesy wasn’t so common but, Lotor decided, he did like it. Although that was probably just his heat speaking; he could feel it building back up, in his belly and between his thighs.

It would be...different, now. It wouldn’t be so hazy and frantic.

It might be better. 

(It might ruin him; Sendak wouldn’t -couldn’t- want him after this was over.)

He climbed into Sendak’s lap and pulled his face down so he could kiss him, grinding against his cock the whole time. Sendak’s hands settled on his hips, making his motions slower, smoother. 

Sendak’s cock slid against his slit with each movement of his hips, and Lotor  _ wanted _ . Slick practically dripped down his thighs.

“Knot me, alpha,” Lotor whined. He’d be embarrassed about his tone later, but for now… Anything that made Sendak stop screwing around and screw him instead was fair game. “Alpha, please…”

Sendak made a rumbling sound in his chest, half-growl, half-something else. 

“I won’t be in heat much longer,” Lotor continued, though how he was still coherent enough to speak was something of a mystery. “Make it count, alpha. Want your children...”

That was the point, after all, biologically speaking: for Sendak to get him pregnant. The fact that Lotor’s contraceptives would prevent that was beside the point. 

But it had the desired effect: Sendak pushed him into the mattress, bending him practically in half, growling and biting at his throat and shoulders even as he thrust his cock in, all the way, in one swift motion. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Lotor crooned. Sendak’s cock was nice enough Lotor would have put up with him even if he’d been a complete asshole; the fact that he was also very polite and respectful… “So big, alpha, so good…” 

Sendak fucked him until tears streamed down his face, and he might have been screaming; it was difficult to say, since he couldn’t hear anything over the roaring in his ears and his own heartbeat. 

Sendak’s knot caught, and Lotor came, the final bit of tension he’d been holding onto shattered. 

He was vaguely aware of Sendak rearranging them into a more comfortable position, of Sendak nuzzling his throat, but it was all very far away.

“Lotor?” 

Lotor blinked up at Sendak. “Mm?”

“I asked if you were alright?”

“Never better,” Lotor said, smiling blissfully. He began purring uncontrollably, which had Sendak jerking in surprise.

Even the tug of Sendak’s knot against his very sensitive slit didn’t irritate him, the way it should have. Three days of more-or-less non-stop sex made things  _ sore _ ; he just...didn’t care. Why should he? He had his alpha -his attentive, polite, responsible alpha -with him, to care for him for the next seven months, to provide for the child that would come of this heat. 

He pulled Sendak as close as possible and fell asleep, nestled safely in his arms.

* * *

Lotor woke later, his head clearer than it had been in weeks. He was pleasantly sore everywhere, but normally he felt like he’d been hit by battleship after a heat, so this was an improvement. 

There was food on the bedside table, but he wasn’t hungry just yet. 

Sendak was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You’re still here,” Lotor said, in surprise. His heat was  _ over _ ; surely Sendak knew that? 

Sendak seemed...hesitant about something. “How much do you remember from the last few days?”

“Not...much,” Lotor said truthfully. Then he flushed. He did remember a few things: Sendak making him sit on his face, for one. “Gods, you are  _ filthy _ , did you know that?”

“That’s-“ Sendak coughed drily. “That’s not why I’m still here.”

“Why then? Do you want something from me? Are you going to blackmail me? Am I going to have to give you something so you won’t tell my father about this? It won’t work; he already thinks I’m a whore.”

Sendak’s ears went all the way back in shock and surprise. “...No? Has someone blackmailed you before?”

“That’s not the point,” Lotor said crossly. This was no longer a conversation he wanted to have nude, so he pulled the sheet up to his chest. “Just...why are you here?”

“You called me alpha.”

“I do that sometimes.”

“You called me  _ your _ alpha.” 

Lotor’s flush renewed itself. “I can’t be held responsible for what I say while I’m in heat.” 

“Do you want me to be your alpha?”

“I don’t need an alpha, despite what everyone seems to think,” Lotor spat. “Gods, my father did send you, didn’t he! Fucking pervert, tracking my cycles so he could send you along at just the right time. Pre-heat me is a fucking idiot, but you’re a worse one for letting him use you like this.”

Sendak looked taken aback by that tirade, as well he might. “I… don’t even know where to start with that. If that was your father’s plan, he forgot to mention it to me. And I’m not…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t ask because I think you need an alpha, or because I’m trying to control you, or whatever else you might think. I just… We are very compatible.”

It was true. Sexually, hormonally, physically. But there were still other factors to consider. “And?”

Sendak sighed. “You’ve been accused of ambition, your highness.”

“Once or twice.” As a Galra, he was supposed to be ambitious. As a prince, he wasn’t supposed to be  _ too _ ambitious. And as a half-breed, he was supposed to fail despite his ambition.

“I am your father’s right hand,” Sendak murmured. “He won’t be emperor forever.”

“That’s not what he seems to think.”

“I never expected to get this far,” Sendak said. “An orphan of the war, with no one to look after me. And as long as I’ve gotten this far, why not keeping looking up?”

“This is how you would repay my father’s kindness for taking you in?” 

“You’d rather see him dead, wouldn’t you?” Sendak asked bluntly. 

“Do you have a plan?”

“Not yet,” Sendak said. “But you will be by my side. I will court you properly, and I will win your heart.”

“So sure of yourself!” Lotor laughed. “What makes you think you can succeed where dozens of other alphas have failed?”

“They weren’t me,” Sendak growled. “Other alphas would merely keep you for decoration and to bear them children, but your womb is not the most valuable part of you. Your mind is.”

Lotor had to stop himself from preening. “If I was an alpha? Would you make that offer then?”

“Yes,” Sendak growled lowly. 

“Filthy,” Lotor chided. “You deviant.” 

“Your mind is you most attractive feature,” Sendak said. “That wouldn’t change if you were an alpha.”

Lotor hummed thoughtfully. “Very well. Court me if you wish, but I will make no guarantees about the outcome.”

“Of course.”

“And I have some conditions.”

“Alright.”

“Until I make a decision, I will not spend a heat or peak with you. And if I chose to take someone to my bed, that’s my decision, regardless of what part of my cycle I’m in.”

“I would never presume to tell you who you should and shouldn’t fuck.” And then Sendak grinned. “And if I happened to be here when you weren’t in heat or peak? Would you take me to bed then?”

“Perhaps,” Lotor said. “But not now.”

“I imagine you must be quite sore,” Sendak said, far too pleased with himself. 

Lotor sniffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. One more thing: if my father finds out about this, it ends.”

“Alright.” He took one of Lotor’s hands in his and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

Somehow, that was more intimate than the entirety of the last three days had been. Lotor flushed and glanced away. “Why me? Is it just because I’m a prince, Zarkon’s heir, or…”

“That’s only one reason,” Sendak said, rubbing his cheek over the back of Lotor’s hand. “A small one. But I thought I’d appeal to your ambition first.”

“Do you love me?” Lotor whispered. He would survive a loveless partnership, as long as he was prepared for it. As long as they were honest about it. 

“Not yet,” Sendak said. “But I could, and if you meet me halfway, I will. It would be so easy to fall for you. I’m surprised you aren’t already mated or married.”

“I am not easy to love,” Lotor replied.

“Perhaps because no one looks deeper than the surface. If they caught a glimpse of everything you hide… But I am glad no one else has taken the time to do so, because now I won’t have to share.”

“So like an alpha, to despise sharing.” 

“Some omegas like it.”

Lotor was one of them, but he wasn’t going to admit that. “Don’t get too cocky yet; you haven’t even started courting me.”

Sendak grinned, and Lotor’s heart skipped a beat. 

_ Oh no.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few quick notes here:  
> 1\. Lotor’s just paranoid. Zarkon is not and never was tracking his cycles.  
> 2\. “Dozens” is kind of a stretch.


	4. Andante, Andante

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the ABBA song of the same name. I thought it fit very well, so maybe give it a listen?

Lotor was quite stubborn, about a lot of things, but that was alright; Sendak was very patient, and more than willing to wait him out. Due to the events surroundings the destruction of Daibazaal, no one was really sure how long the average Galra would live anymore, but all the research seemed to suggest that he’d have millennia to woo Lotor, if need be.

Not that he had to do much, really. 

In a lot of ways, it was quite sad that he had Lotor opening up to him after a few polite, kind gestures. Gestures that weren’t, strictly speaking, romantic; just...friendly. 

It occurred to him, after he’d been courting Lotor for some time, that Lotor was  _ lonely _ . Horribly, terribly lonely. 

He made sure to regale Sendak with tales of his sexual exploits -a trait more typical of alphas -and while there was nothing wrong with Lotor sleeping around, if he wanted (they weren’t exclusive, and Sendak had needs, too), there was an underlying thread of… neediness. 

Not in a bad way, per se. It was just… Maybe Lotor was trying to fill some void in his life with meaningless sex. The need for real companionship, perhaps. 

Gods, they were two thousand years old, give or take. Had Lotor ever had a real friend? 

There was no way he could be with Lotor all the time; Sendak was a commander, after all, a royal officer and part of Zarkon’s inner circle. He had duties and-

And still, despite the ambition that had fueled him thus far, still he wanted to stay by Lotor’s side, as a friend if nothing else, if that was all Lotor allowed him. 

* * *

 

“I’ve been thinking,” Lotor said. 

“About?”

“You,” Lotor said, coyly. He teased and misdirected and did everything in his power to keep people from seeing what he truly felt, something he did even with Sendak, despite all of the time they’d spent together. All the little reassurances Sendak tried to give him. 

They were dining privately in Lotor’s rooms, as they sometimes did whenever Sendak found himself out this way. He’d learned early on that Lotor rarely drank anything alcoholic, so he’d brought a bottle of fresh, unfermented juice made from a certain kind of fruit, and Lotor seemed to like it. He took another sip now, clearly savoring both it and the anticipation. 

“We are...compatible,” he said finally.

They’d only shared that first heat, as per Lotor’s rules, but Sendak still remembered it vividly. “We are,” he agreed.

“I’ve been wondering if we are just as compatible outside of my heat.”

“We’ve gotten along well so far.”

Lotor smiled. “That was not quite what I meant.”

“Perhaps you should be more direct, your highness.”

“You know that’s never been quite my style.” He paused. “Still, I have been thinking of you, and your...proposal, and it’s- I’m surprised that you haven’t given up yet.”

“I can be quite patient, when the situation warrants it.”

“And does this situation warrant it?”

“I think so.” 

Lotor glanced away, his ears flicking. “It’s a big decision. I want to make sure I’m choosing correctly.”

“Take all the time you need. I’m more than willing to wait for you.” 

A soft smile lifted the corners of Lotor’s mouth, but he looked a little sad when he finally turned back to Sendak. “For how long?”

“As long as you need.” 

“And you won’t just- give up on me? You could do better, and you should be pursuing different, better-“

“I could not possibly do better,” Sendak said firmly. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You- You’re  _ perfect _ , and it makes me so angry that you don’t seem to realize that, because someone really should have told you by now.”

Lotor was speechless in the face of that, but he recovered quickly, hiding his surprise in the rim of his glass. “Is that what you tell all the omegas you try to seduce?” He teased finally.

“No,” Sendak said, “only you.” 

Lotor just...looked at him for a moment, raw and unconcealed longing in his eyes. “Earlier,” he said, “I was going to make some joke about testing goods before buying them, and we would end up in bed, and it would be fun, but it wouldn’t mean anything. But now… Now I- I want something else from you.”

“Anything,” Sendak promised, taking one of Lotor’s hands in his and rubbing his thumb over his knuckles gently. 

“I want,” Lotor began, almost shyly, hesitantly. “I want you to make love to me.” He seemed like he was on the verge of tears, which… Gods, who had hurt Lotor this badly? 

“I can do that,” Sendak said. And he did want to be gentle and kind to Lotor; it was clear that no one ever had been. And...he deserved better. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” Lotor asked, so softly that Sendak barely heard. 

“Because someone should be,” Sendak said firmly. He stood and offered Lotor his hand; Lotor didn’t need help standing, but he took it anyway.

He looked up at Sendak, thousands of questions in his eyes, but he didn’t ask any of them. 

Sendak brought a hand up to stroke Lotor’s cheek, a comforting gesture. “Are you nervous?” He asked softly.

Lotor nodded and laughed, just a little. “I- It’s silly. It’s- I’ve had sex before. Lots of sex.”

“You’ve told me,” Sendak drawled.

“I- I suppose I’m hoping that it will be different this time, is all.” 

“Can I kiss you?” Sendak asked.

Lotor nodded, just once, and Sendak bent to kiss him, just a soft press of lips on lips. Different than the way they’d kissed during Lotor’s heat, so long ago now, and they hadn’t kissed since. 

Even that was enough to make Lotor slightly breathless. 

“Let me take you to bed,” Sendak pleaded. 

Lotor nodded again. “You-“ he began, struggling to find his voice. “You know where it is.” 

Sendak remembered. He picked Lotor up -easily, a fact that had him preening internally -and carried him to the bedroom, only to set him down on the bed.

“I can walk,” Lotor said.

“I know.” Sendak kissed him again, less chastely this time, and when he pulled away, Lotor whined. “Be patient,” he chided gently. “We’ll get there.” 

Lotor bit his lip and glanced away, perhaps embarrassed by...something. 

“Can I undress you?” 

Lotor nodded. “You’re going to undress, too, though, right?”

“Of course.” Sendak didn’t particularly like having sex even partially clothed; it was uncomfortable. 

“You won’t mate me, will you?”

“Not today. And not before you’re ready.” Besides, that required a bite at the nape of Lotor’s neck, and Sendak really wanted see Lotor’s face today. “If I do something you don’t like, tell me.”

”It’s fine,” Lotor protested.

“Tell me,” Sendak insisted. He lifted Lotor’s chin so he could look him in the eye. “I want to know all the best ways to please you. I want to know... _ everything _ about you. What you like, what you don’t like. All of it. Don’t hide from me.” 

The corners of Lotor’s mouth twitched upwards in a small smile. “You always see through me anyway. There’s no point in hiding.”

“That’s right,” Sendak said, before bending to kiss Lotor again. He couldn’t seem to get enough. “You can be yourself with me.”

Lotor smiled sadly; most of his smiles -his real smiles -were sad, but one day… “If you ever betray me, Sendak, I will rip your heart out of your chest without hesitation or remorse. I don’t forgive easily and I never, ever forget.”

“I would expect nothing less of you.” Sendak’s hands had strayed to the catches on Lotor’s armor by this point, and Lotor placed his hands on his, as if guiding him. Not that Sendak needed guidance; he’d been wearing armor of one sort or another for the vast majority of his life. 

The pieces came away easily, as they were designed to; no one wanted to get stuck in their own armor. Before long, Lotor was in nothing but his flightsuit. He wasn’t wearing anything under it, apparently. 

Sendak just raised an eyebrow at that, and Lotor shrugged. “Your turn, Commander.” 

Sendak stepped back to give himself space and set about undressing, quickly and efficiently removing his armor and flightsuit, leaving only his undersuit. 

“I don’t remember much of that heat,” Lotor said thoughtfully, “but have you filled out since then?”

“A little. It has been some time.”

Lotor laughed. “I remember when Ranveig was lean and handsome. Time was much kinder to you.”

Sendak grimaced. “Can we not talk about Ranveig right now?”

“Why not? His cock is about the same size as yours, although, from what I remember, you use yours much better.”

Sendak really didn’t want to think about that, now or ever. “I could just-  _ leave _ ,” he said.

Lotor smiled shrewdly. “You won’t.”

Sendak crawled over him, pinning him to the bed. “Don’t think about other alphas when I’m about to fuck you.”

“We’re not fucking,” Lotor said. “We’re making love, remember?”

Sendak bent down to bite at Lotor’s throat. Not hard, but hard enough; Lotor stiffened in surprise and moaned. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he murmured, lapping apologetically at the few drops of blood that beaded up. “It won’t work.”

“And just what am I trying to do?”

“You can’t handle the fact that someone might actually care about you, and even if they did, they’d surely leave eventually, right? So. You’re trying to drive me away now, before you get too attached. By making me jealous, or angry, or… whatever. But it won’t work.”

“You think I can’t win a battle of wills?”

“If you wanted to, certainly. But you don’t want to win this battle.” 

“You don’t know me,” Lotor said.

“I know you better than anyone else,” Sendak pointed out. “You said it yourself: you can’t hide from me.” 

Some portion of Lotor’s playful mood evaporated, and he glanced away, his shoulders slumping. “I’ve already become too attached,” he whispered. “It scares me, how much I-“ He stopped himself abruptly, though Sendak could guess about how he might have finished that sentence. “I’ve lost so much already,” he said finally. 

“I’ll be here until you want me to leave,” Sendak said, then added, “metaphorically, at least.”

Lotor cracked a smile at that, still tinged with sadness, but it was  _ something _ , at least, and Sendak kissed him again. 

Slowly, sensually, passionately. Sendak had been  _ in love _ once or twice, but he’d never really  _ loved _ before. He hadn’t thought there was much of a difference, but now… 

“If I ever betrayed you,” he murmured, “I’d let you rip my heart out. I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me. Because I’d deserve it, for hurting you.” 

Lotor’s eyes met his, and he seemed to be searching for something. Whether he found it or not, Sendak didn’t know, but more of his tension melted away. 

“Good,” Sendak murmured, stroking Lotor’s side with one hand. “Good, perfect… You’re so good for me…”

He was close enough that he could feel the heat of Lotor’s blush. “You like that?” Sendak asked. “Like being told how good you are, like being praised?”

Lotor turned away, but he nodded.

It made sense. A lot of sense. 

“I can do that for you. You should be showered in praise, my lovely, beautiful, intelligent, fierce, cunning prince.” Sendak kissed his cheek and toyed with the catch on Lotor’s flightsuit. “Can I-?”

Lotor nodded, his fangs digging into his bottom lip. He  _ wanted _ . He wanted, and he wasn’t in heat, wasn’t near his peak. He was just...himself, and he allowed Sendak to peel back all the masks he used to protect himself.

Nothing Sendak did would ever be enough to repay that gift, that honor, but he’d  _ try _ , with every breath.

Sendak helped him out of his flightsuit and took a moment to study him. Lotor hadn’t allowed that during his heat -he’d been far too impatient -but now that he had the opportunity…

Lotor had scars; most Galra had scars these days, after two thousand years of war. He was small, for a Galra, but he was lean and muscular. Not very attractive by traditional standards, but that hardly mattered to Sendak. 

His stomach was taut with anticipation, and below that, he was hard. 

“You are  _ lovely _ ,” Sendak murmured. He was going to suck Lotor’s cock later, if Lotor let him. His own cock twitched just thinking about it: Lotor’s thighs on his shoulders, the weight and taste of him in his mouth, the gorgeously erotic sounds he’d surely make…

He brought two fingers to Lotor’s slit, testing to see if he was ready, since he wasn’t in heat. Every omega was different, and he didn’t want to hurt Lotor. No, that was the last thing he wanted. 

He was wet already, not as wet as he would be if he were in heat, but wet enough. He widened his legs a little, pushing back against Sendak’s fingers, and Sendak laughed a little at his eagerness. 

Lotor whined when he took his fingers away, but he lapped at them when Sendak brought them to his lips. 

“You smell just as good as you did when you were in heat,” Sendak said. “Do you taste as good?”

Lotor’s ears went back in embarrassment, but he didn’t say anything. 

Sendak kissed him again, catching the faint taste of his slick. Even without that, he enjoyed kissing Lotor. He loved how responsive he was, how he just...gave himself over to it. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, pulling away finally, when Lotor began rocking his hips upwards in a desperate attempt to gain some relief. 

Lotor nodded, so Sendak stripped out of his undersuit and threw it...somewhere. Normally he wasn’t so careless, but… 

If he had to wait another second, he’d probably combust. 

He knelt between Lotor’s knees, and Lotor reached up for him. He was deceptively strong for his frame, but Sendak loved it, and he let Lotor pull him down. 

Lotor kissed him desperately, needily, hungrily, and somehow Sendak knew that he wanted something other than sex, too. Something different; maybe something  _ better _ . 

He guided one of Lotor’s thighs up around his hip, and then, slowly, carefully, lined himself up and sank in, inch by inch.

Lotor was mostly quiet, which surprised Sendak, given how vocal he’d been during his heat. Even so, he couldn’t stop the tiny, pleased noises that spilled from his lips. 

It was...perfect. Lotor felt so  _ good _ around and underneath him, like maybe they’d been made for this moment alone, so perfectly suited for each other…

“ _ Sendak _ ,” Lotor breathed. “Sendak, I want…”

It was better than hearing Lotor beg a nameless and unspecific alpha, and Sendak had no choice but to give him whatever he asked for. “Anything,” he promised. “Anything at all. Just ask, Lotor, and I’ll give you the stars.” 

Lotor clutched at his shoulders, his claws extended, but Sendak didn’t care; it meant Lotor was losing himself, letting go of his self-control, freeing himself to enjoy all the pleasures Sendak wanted to show him.

Sendak slipped one hand down between them, to Lotor’s cock, stroking him gently in-time to his thrusts, thumbing at each ridge and the bundle of nerves at the base of his cock that would have been Lotor’s knot, had he been an alpha. He wasn’t, and in some ways, it was probably more sensitive that way.

His hand ventured lower, to Lotor’s slit, where his own cock worked in and out. The opening was stretched wide, seeming to only barely accommodate Sendak’s cock.

It would, of course, stretch as much as it needed to; if and when Lotor bore his children…

He growled against the column of Lotor’s throat; he was so close, but he wanted, needed, Lotor to come first.

He brought his hand back up to Lotor’s cock, and he pulled back enough to watch Lotor.

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, overcome with how Lotor looked in that moment: his hair arrayed around his head like a halo, his lips swollen with kisses and the way he bit at them to stifle his moans, his eyes clenched tightly shut, his brow furrowed just so…

“I want you,” Sendak continued, unable to help himself. “I want you, whatever you’ll let me have. I couldn’t dream of a better mate, a better husband. I want you, let me serve you, Lotor…”

Tiny moans vibrated up Lotor’s throat, like the sweetest music Sendak could imagine, and Sendak couldn’t resist mouthing at it.

Lotor came undone, his entire body arching and tensing with his orgasm; it was enough to make Sendak come, too.

With neither of them in season, he couldn’t knot Lotor, as much as he might want to, but that was alright. With luck, he could do so later. 

He stayed buried in Lotor anyway as they caught their breath. Some part of him rebelled against this coming to an end.

He rolled them onto their sides, facing, as if he had knotted Lotor, mindful of Lotor’s comfort above all else.

Lotor clung to him, burying his face in Sendak’s chest, and Sendak held him, even as he started to shake.

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “Lotor, what’s wrong?”

Lotor shook his head wordlessly, and a tiny sound bubbled out of him. A sob, Sendak realized. 

Sendak rubbed his back, not entirely sure what to say. Therefore, it was probably better to say nothing.

“Did you mean it?” Lotor asked finally, his voice muffled and raw. 

“Yes,” Sendak said. “Every word.”

Lotor looked up, his eyes still damp, tears stains streaking across his face. “I...believe you,” he said disbelievingly. “You’re telling the truth.”

“I won’t lie to you, Lotor.”

Lotor was quiet for a moment. “I asked, before, if you loved me, and now I- I…”

He couldn’t seem to bring himself to ask, but that was alright. “Yes,” Sendak said. “I told you it would be easy to fall for you, and it was. I love you, Lotor, my fierce little prince.”

Lotor swallowed and glanced away. “I’m not ready to mate, or marry, or- or have children, and maybe… Maybe I will never be ready. Maybe this is the most we’re allowed to have. The most  _ I’m _ allowed to have. And even this seems like...too much.”

“What do you mean?”

Lotor grimaced. “I’ve lost so much, Sendak. Every time something good comes my way, it’s taken away once more, and I am left with  _ nothing _ . And I…I don’t want to be left alone again.”

“I will fight for this,” Sendak said, “if I must. If this is all we can have, then it’s enough, as long as it’s you. And if, one day, you decide you’re ready for more, then…”

“You’ll wait?” Lotor asked, surprised.

“As long as it takes.”

Lotor relaxed, a little. “You don’t even know if I return your feelings.”

“This conversation never would have gotten this far if you didn’t,” Sendak said. “Sometimes it’s not what you say, but the fact that you say anything at all.”

“For the record,” Lotor said, quietly, but making sure to look Sendak in the eye, “I do. I love you, Sendak.” He reached up and cupped Sendak’s cheek, pulling him in for a soft kiss, little more than lips-on-lips.  

It was enough. More than enough. More than Sendak had ever dared hope for. 


	5. Accidentally In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not based on the song of the same name, but it is a good song, so...

It was...strange, Lotor decided, but not wholly unpleasant, loving someone and being loved in return.

It was new, certainly. Even familial love was foreign to Lotor, and he’d assumed that since his own father couldn’t love him, why would anyone else?

But Sendak…

It scared him, that it had been so easy for Sendak to worm his way past all of his barriers. 

He shouldn’t be in love, he shouldn’t have fallen for someone, and yet… He caught himself grinning like a fool whenever he was alone and had a moment to think about Sendak.

It was ridiculous and undignified and definitely not something he should be party to. 

Sendak had indicated that, if Lotor wanted him to stop his pursuit, he would, no questions asked. He’d just- drop the whole thing, like it had never happened and-

It was probably the best course of action Lotor could take. End this before it ended him.

But he couldn’t. 

Perhaps it was the same weakness that had driven him into exile in the first place, and yet he couldn’t end it. 

He thought about it, whenever he wasn’t in Sendak’s arms, listing reasons and excuses and arguments, trying to convince himself to do it. 

Every single item on those lists evaporated as soon as he saw the way Sendak’s eyes lit up when he saw him, as soon as Sendak kissed him -gently, too gently, so gently it ached-as soon as Sendak murmured the things Lotor had longed to hear since he was a child:  _ I believe in you, you’re doing so well, you’re perfect, I love you.  _

He was thankful that they were moving slowly, at least. It gave him time to- to think, even if that was the last thing he wanted sometimes. 

There was no next step to be taken, right now. He wasn’t ready for it, yet, and he might never be. 

Sendak did deserve someone he wouldn’t have to wait indefinitely for, but he’d insisted that it wasn’t an issue for him, so… 

Perhaps all there was left to do was accept it. 

* * *

They talked, whenever Sendak was visiting on one errand or another (ironically, Sendak was the only officer Zarkon trusted to deal with Lotor), late at night, when the only sound was the hum of the engines.

Quietly, Lotor told him things he’d never told anyone else: plans he'd made, dreams he’d had.

Sendak listened, and shared his own aspirations when Lotor was finished. 

It was by far the most intimate thing Lotor had ever shared with anyone. The strangest part of it was that he didn’t feel vulnerable when he shared like that, when he bared his soul to someone else.

He mentioned it offhandedly to Sendak, once, and Sendak only sighed and pulled him closer. 

“You’re so used to people hurting you,” Sendak said softly. “It shouldn’t be like that, but it is, and I- I will never hurt you, Lotor. You have nothing to fear from me. You know that, right?”

Lotor nodded.

“If it’s in my power, I won’t let anyone else hurt you, either,” he continued. “I am so...thankful for your trust, and I will do anything to prove that you’ve made the right decision in giving it to me.”

“I didn’t know alphas could be so polite,” Lotor said, deflecting a little, because this was getting to be... _ too much _ , right now. 

“It seems they’ve sent you the rejects that no respectable commander would tolerate,” Sendak drawled.

Lotor hummed thoughtfully. “I am glad that you’re… you, and not…” 

“Gods, if I did half the shit some of the alphas here did, my father would come back from the grave to knock some manners into me,” Sendak said. 

Lotor had thought it would be painful to listen to Sendak talk about his parents, but it wasn’t, really. Sendak’s parents had died long ago, when Sendak was young, so while he did still grieve for them, his own pain was more like an old injury than an open wound. 

But it was...nice, to hear Sendak talk about them, sometimes. It was clear that they’d loved Sendak, and well… Who was Lotor to begrudge him that? 

“Is that who I have to thank for how polite and respectful you are?” Lotor asked. 

“Probably,” Sendak said. He kissed the top of Lotor’s head, and Lotor relaxed a little more, resting his head on Sendak’s chest. “They would have liked you, I think.”

Lotor didn’t know what to say to that; he never did, when Sendak said something like that. So he just rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s chest, almost possessively. 

* * *

“Yeah, that’s right, you whore. Such a fucking cockslut, aren’t you? Just taking whatever knot you can get,” the alpha growled.

Lotor rolled his eyes. He didn’t remember the alpha’s name, and he didn’t care to. 

The whole situation was somewhat off-putting, but it was either this or try to satisfy himself, given that:

A). Sendak wasn’t here, and

B). Even if he was, Lotor wouldn’t have spent this heat with him anyway. It felt too...personal. 

Which was strange, given that he’d bared his soul to Sendak and was in love with him, but.

The alpha pulled his hair, forcing his back into a rather uncomfortable arch. “Are you even paying attention? What, am I not fucking you hard enough? If you did some of the work, you slut-“

Lotor sighed and, in a swift motion that completely caught the alpha off-guard, twisted around and kicked the alpha out of his bed, literally. “Get out.”

From his place on the floor, the alpha looked startled and offended, but Lotor didn’t really care.

“Get out,” Lotor growled, a little louder, before the alpha could say anything, “ **_now_ ** .” 

Lotor was more than prepared to put up a fight if he needed to, but it seemed it would be unnecessary. The alpha got to his feet, pulled his flightsuit back up, and stalked out, muttering things Lotor pretended not to hear. 

Once the alpha was gone, Lotor sunk back into the bed, his mood completely soured. 

He hadn’t been sleeping around nearly as much lately, not really out of conscious choice. He just...hadn’t. 

The two extremes of his cycle couldn’t be ignored, although he managed his peaks just fine on his own. Heats were another matter entirely. 

There was nothing particularly special about the alpha he’d just kicked out; they all spoke to him like that when he was heat (all but one). It had never really been an issue before, but now…

The only alpha he wanted was Sendak. 

Which wouldn’t be happening, because Sendak was halfway across the universe, on some stupid campaign, instead of here, where he belonged, satisfying  _ his mate _ . 

Lotor reached up and felt along the back of his neck, for the place the mating bite would go  _ -soon _ -only to find flawless skin. 

The scent of a strange alpha on his skin was beginning to irritate him, and he hauled himself up and into the shower, leaning against the wall as hot water flowed over him. 

The shower helped clear his head a little, and he managed to pull out the box of toys he kept for the rare occasions when he had to spend his heat alone. 

It was going to be a long heat.


	6. Gentlemanly

Sendak squared his shoulders as he stepped off the shuttle. He still wasn’t used to the weight of the prosthetic, even after almost a year, and if he wasn’t careful, it would pull him to one side, which did no favors for his posture or back. 

It was supposed to be an honor, a reward for surviving something that should have killed him, a sign of Zarkon’s favor. 

Mostly, it just weighed him down, unbalanced him, unsettled him.

It would take some getting used to.

Lotor was waiting for him in the hangar, and suddenly Sendak’s remaining palm was damp. 

He was pretty sure that Lotor wasn’t so shallow that this would be a deal-breaker, but he didn’t know for sure, and it was difficult to convince himself that Lotor wouldn’t care when he was still insecure about it himself. 

Lotor continually surprised him, though, and he should have been used to that, at least, but he wasn’t, and he probably never would be. 

“I’m glad to see you alive and well, Commander,” Lotor said, politely but with a certain amount of distance between them, as they had to have in public. “If not whole.”

There was worry in Lotor’s eyes, but his shoulders slumped a little with relief. He didn’t seem especially off-put by this development, just...thankful that Sendak was alright. 

He continued: “Though I could have built you better prosthetics, I think.”

Sendak smiled. “Thank you, Your Highness, for the offer.”

Lotor was quiet as he led Sendak through the halls. Normally, there was something for Sendak to do immediately after his arrival: some inspection or briefing or duty, but Lotor just took him back to his quarters.

“It looks heavy,” Lotor said quietly, once the door was shut and locked. 

“It is,” Sendak said, “but I’m getting used to it.”

“And the eye?”

“I’m getting used to that, too.” He stepped a little closer to Lotor; he wanted to touch him, hold him, but he wasn’t sure if that was what Lotor wanted right now. “I… I almost died, Lotor, and you were the only thing on my mind. I wanted to see you again, hold you again, and I think maybe that was the only thing keeping me alive.”

“I’m here,” Lotor said, stepping into Sendak’s embrace. “I’m here.” 

Sendak just held him for a long time. It was the only thing he’d wanted for months, as if Lotor’s touch alone could heal his injuries. 

Lotor returned the embrace, and maybe he’d needed this, too. ”Promise me,” he whispered. “Promise me that you’ll always come back to me.”

“I will,” Sendak promised. “I will, I want to, I’ll do whatever it takes, Lotor, I swear.” 

Lotor rubbed his cheek possessively against Sendak’s shoulder, like he was marking Sendak as  _ his _ . 

“I love you,” Lotor said. “I love you, Sendak.”

It had been years since he’d first said it, but it still made Sendak’s heart skip a beat every time. “I love you, too, Lotor.”

* * *

The door chime made Sendak frown. For one thing, it was quite late, and honestly, he should have been asleep, but he had a lot to do before they arrived at Central Command.

He checked on it anyway; it might be important, and if it wasn’t, he’d have to dress someone down for bothering him at this hour. 

It was Lotor, clutching a blanket that he’d thrown around his shoulders like a cape, trembling.

Sendak had been tasked with taking Lotor back to Central Command, probably for Zarkon to humiliate him before sending him back to exile, so it wasn’t entirely surprising to see Lotor here.

It was just… Lotor had gone into heat yesterday, and he should be with the alpha he’d chosen to help him through it, not here, outside Sendak’s quarters, in the middle of the night, in nothing but a blanket. 

It would be five or six days before they arrived at Central Command, which should be enough time for Lotor to fully recover. But… 

Sendak ushered him in wordlessly, not entirely sure what to do about this, but knowing that he couldn’t exactly leave Lotor out in the corridor. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend Lotor’s heat with him, but Lotor had been very clear about the matter when Sendak had started courting him. 

“Lotor,” Sendak said. “What are you doing?”

“Sendak,” Lotor whined, in that ‘needy omega’ voice. “Need you.” He stepped closer to Sendak, looking up at him with huge, dark eyes. “ _ Please _ .” 

“We’ve talked about this, Lotor,” Sendak said, putting his hand on Lotor’s shoulder to keep him at arm’s length. “You’re in heat, and you said-“

“I know what I said!” Lotor shrugged out of his hold, stepping even closer. In a quieter voice, he continued: “I know what I said. I just… I need you. Make me yours. Mate me, mark me…”

“What about the alpha you were-?”

“He’s not you,” Lotor said, pressing himself up against Sendak’s front.

It wasn’t that Sendak didn’t want to. If Lotor wasn’t in heat, he would have done everything he asked. 

“I don’t want any other alpha, just you. Mate me, so everyone knows that. It’s driving me crazy how much I need you, and only you. Please, Sendak, I’ll do anything you want, just... _ please _ .” 

He seemed to be on the verge of crying now; it was probably nearly painful to ignore his heat at this point. 

Still, despite Lotor’s conditions, he couldn’t exactly turn him away now, not if he’d refused whatever alpha he’d been planning to spend his heat with in the first place. It would be cruel to force him to spend it alone, or at the mercy of some alpha he hadn’t had the chance to speak with beforehand. 

Sendak sighed. “Alright. I’ll...help you. But I won’t mate you, not while you’re in heat. If that’s what you want when your heat is over, I’ll do it then. I don’t want you to regret it.”

“I won’t,” Lotor murmured. “Not if it’s you.” 

If Lotor went around asking strange alphas to mate him during every heat, he would have been mated by now; not all alphas had the same values that Sendak had. He knew that, and still…

“No,” Sendak said. “But I will take care of you.”

Somehow, Lotor’s eyes got even darker. “Yes, alpha. Take care of me. Fuck me, make me yours, let me give you a child…”

And that was the limit of Sendak’s self-restraint. He scooped Lotor up and carried him back to his bedroom.

Lotor held onto him and bit at Sendak’s throat and ears -a very alpha-ish mannerism, but Sendak found it endearing (and really, really hot) -which made it difficult to navigate to the bedroom, but naturally, Lotor didn’t care about the logistics of any of this.

If it wouldn’t would be a pain in the neck, Sendak would have fucked him against the wall, like he seemed to want, but his knot made that...impractical, at best. 

He tried to set Lotor down on the bed, but Lotor pulled him down, too, whining and clawing at Sendak’s suit, but apparently unwilling to have any space between them so Sendak could take it off.

“Calm down,” Sendak said sternly. “I’ll give you what you want, I promise. Just...behave, for a moment.”

Lotor frowned, but he stilled, his hands clutching at the sheets. He was still trembling, and a little out-of-breath, but otherwise…

Sendak stripped out of his suit as quickly as possible. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, with only one hand, but he managed, and frankly, he was glad he’d already uncoupled the prosthetic for the evening; he didn’t want to have to worry about accidentally hurting Lotor. 

He turned his attention back to Lotor, laid out on his bed like a feast for a starving man, and he didn’t waste another moment. 


	7. Mate

Every part of Lotor knew that it was different this time.  After four and a half thousand years and innumerable heats, this was the one that would be the most memorable. The most meaningful. 

The glacially slow pace of their early courtship was over, the natural processes of his body making his decision for him, where his mind had been too afraid.

There was no point in  _ thinking _ about it anymore. No point in doing anything but giving in, surrendering.

His slit would be filled now, and in a few days, the achingly blank patch of skin above his shoulders would be filled, too. 

He’d never had a heat somewhere that wasn’t  _ his _ . Certainly not in an alpha’s rooms. That was dangerous, but he was safe  _ here _ : these were  _ Sendak’s _ rooms, and Sendak would never hurt him.

Sendak’s scent was embedded in the mattress, in the air, in the very walls, intoxicating and overwhelming. 

Even so, it was hard to focus on anything other than Sendak, above him, in him, splitting him open with every thrust, making himself an integral part of Lotor. 

Lotor was beyond words, but Sendak wasn’t: “So good for me, Lotor, so sweet and yet so fierce… You’re so beautiful, my love. Can’t wait for you to wear my mating bite… Everyone will know that you are  _ mine… _ ”

That last was said with a harsh growl as Sendak came and his knot swelled enough to catch.

Lotor’s mind completely whited out for a moment as he came, too, and when he regained awareness, Sendak was nuzzling his neck and rubbing his belly.

The heat haze was affecting both of them, then, preoccupying them with things that could never be, as long as Lotor remained on contraceptives. 

But they could pretend. The hormones  _ demanded _ that they pretend, that Sendak do his damnedest to get Lotor pregnant. 

One day, maybe…

For now, Lotor purred in contentment, more than happy to be here with Sendak.

* * *

He woke later to Sendak placing little bites and kisses all over his neck and collar bones, which, as far as Lotor was concerned, was one of the best ways to wake up. 

“Sendak,” he breathed, stroking Sendak’s crest. 

“You’re awake. Good. You should drink something.” Sendak pressed a glass to his lips, and he drank. It was some sort of slightly sweet, slightly salty liquid, an electrolyte solution of some kind. “Good,” Sendak murmured when he finished it, and Lotor preened at the praise.

At this point in his heat, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted his alpha to be pleased with him, pleased enough to gift him with his knot and children and-

Sendak moved down his body, until he was able to place Lotor’s thighs on his shoulders.

Lotor cried out at the first press of Sendak’s tongue to his slit. Extra blood flow at this point in his cycle made everything far more sensitive that usual, but it was so good, so…

Sendak sucked at the base of his cock, where it met the top of his slit, perhaps the most sensitive part of his anatomy, and Lotor’s claws sank into whatever they could reach. “Sendak! Sendak,  _ please… _ ”  He wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking for; this was far too much and yet not nearly enough.

Sendak rumbled approvingly, and Lotor’s orgasm hit him like a cruiser in orbit: inexorable, yet devastating. 

Excess slick dripped down Sendak’s chin. It really should not have been as arousing as it was. “Come here,” Lotor whined. He wanted Sendak’s knot, but he didn’t truly need it yet. For now, tasting himself on Sendak’s lips would suffice. 

“You remember my name,” Sendak said. 

Of course Lotor remembered his alpha’s name. He nodded. 

“Good boy,” Sendak murmured, before leaning forward to kiss Lotor. 

* * *

Lotor had enough energy to keep himself upright, but that was about it.

Sendak’s quarters only had a shower, no bathtub, so Sendak was showering with him, and that was...nice. He didn’t really have to do anything; Sendak seemed more than happy to wash him, and Lotor was content enough to let him. 

His heat was more or less over, which was good; he was expected at Central Command the day after tomorrow, and he couldn’t show up there like this. 

Sendak always seemed to know what he was thinking, and now was no exception. He nipped Lotor’s ear gently. “Don’t worry about that right now.”

“Can’t help it,” Lotor said. “I don’t want to go back.”

“I know.”

“I don’t even know what he wants from me.”

Sendak was silent for a moment. “Yes, you do,” he said quietly. “He’s calling you back to make an example of you. If he’ll humiliate and punish his own son like that, what will he do to the rest of us if we displease him? You just have to be patient and do what he wants. He’ll send you back when he tires of it.” 

Deep down, Lotor knew that was true. He’d just never heard it articulated before. “I hate it,” Lotor whispered. “And I hate him.” 

“I know, my love.” Sendak held him for a moment, his chin on his shoulder and his arm around his waist. 

They spent the rest of the shower in companionable silence, using only gentle touches to communicate. 

It wasn’t until they were back in bed that Lotor spoke again. “I didn’t forget,” he said quietly. “You said that if I still wanted your bite when my heat was over, then you’d give it to me.”

Sendak sighed. “I did. Lotor, it’s not a good idea.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have even spent your heat with me. You had-“

“I know,” Lotor repeated. “I know. But I- I couldn’t stand the thought of any other alpha touching me. Just you. I just want you. I haven’t- For the past century, maybe, I haven’t spent a full heat with an alpha. I always think it will work, but then halfway through, I end up kicking them out, because they’re not you.”

“Why didn’t you say something, Lotor?”

”I- I wasn’t ready.”

“But you were this time.”

Lotor nodded.

“What changed?”

Lotor laughed softly. “Nothing, really. Nothing at all. It’s the same situation we’ve always been in, but I suppose I realized… If this is the way I have to live, I’d rather do it with you. Because I love you, and you love me in return.”

“I do,” Sendak agreed.

“So. I’m not ready to marry, yet, but this… For now, if you are willing to give me this, then I am ready to accept it.” 

It would signal the end of their courtship, and the true consummation of their relationship. In many ways, the marriage that might follow was largely a legal formality. Traditionally, this was the important part, though nowadays it was falling out of favor. 

Then again, couples had to be compatible in order to mate, and not all were. Many couples these days were marrying for other reasons, not just suitability. 

“And you’re sure?” 

“Yes,” Lotor said. He’d never been quite so sure of something before. 

“It will hurt,” Sendak said.

Most couples who did mate did so while having sex, during a heat or otherwise; the endorphins would mitigate the pain of the bite.

“I can handle pain,” Lotor said quietly. A common thread of his life, but this pain was different. 

“Alright,” Sendak said finally. He pulled Lotor close and kissed him.

Lotor melted into it. Perhaps this was not the best idea, but… Sendak was one of the most respected commanders in the entire Empire; if anyone could weather the storm of Lotor’s affections, it was him. He’d come through so much already…

Sendak coaxed him into turning onto his front, arms crossed under the pillow that supported his head, and then Sendak draped himself over Lotor’s back -a familiar position that sent a spike of arousal through Lotor’s core, though of course there was no way he was having sex so soon after the end of his heat. 

Sendak gently brushed his hair aside and placed a kiss on the base of Lotor’s neck. “Here?” 

Lotor hummed an affirmation, trying to relax. 

Sendak nuzzled the spot for a moment, and that helped, enough that Lotor didn’t realize he was preparing to bite until his fangs had already sunk into his flesh. 

He hissed in surprise, but… It wasn’t as painful as he’d thought it would be. Just little pinpricks of sensation, and not much more. 

Then Sendak withdrew to lap up the blood -there shouldn’t be too much, but the action would help it scar permanently -his touch as gentle as it had always been. 

“Lotor?”

“Mm…” 

Sendak huffed a laugh. “It looks good already. How does it feel?”

“Fine,” Lotor said. The pain was already a memory, and between this and the fact that his heat had ended earlier today, he was about ready to sleep for the next day or two. “Good. Come sleep with me, my Sendak.”

He could practically hear Sendak’s protest, before he even said anything, so he continued: “Just to sleep. Want you to sleep next to me.”

“Alright, my love.” Sendak lay down next to him, still nuzzling and kissing the new bite mark, further improving the chances of it scaring nicely. 

Lotor started purring; how could he not? There had been so few happy moments in his life, and this was one of them. “I love you, Sendak.”

He felt the curve of Sendak’s smile against his skin. “Love you too, Lotor.”


	8. Criteria

Central Command was as it always was: officers moved with purpose and fear, Druids stalked the halls as if looking for prey, and sentries patrolled at Zarkon’s command. 

Sendak wasn’t paranoid, but… 

He understood why Lotor was. 

Lotor had decided that it would be best if they minimized their contact while they were here -and Sendak had to agree with him, even if he didn’t like it -but he couldn’t stop himself from looking for Lotor everywhere he went, on the off-chance he’d catch a glimpse of him. Just so he knew that he was alright. 

Lotor was his  _ mate _ now. He had a responsibility to see to his safety. And Lotor’s fear was enough to at least put him on his guard, even if there was no real danger.

The thing about Central Command, though, was that the danger was very, very real. Between Zarkon’s moods and the witch’s experiments, very few were ever even remotely safe.

Lotor wasn’t one of the few, and that frustrated -enraged -Sendak to no end. He was a prince of the Galra; he should be at his best here, at the center of the Empire. 

It was just as Sendak had predicted, though: Zarkon spent some time disparaging Lotor in front of whatever officers were in Central Command, had a few private conversations with him, and then sent him back to his exile, with Sendak escorting him, naturally. 

* * *

The first night after leaving Central Command, Lotor showed up outside his quarters once more.

He was withdrawn, but trembling, and he looked...tired. Not relieved, as Sendak might have been in his situation, not angry, not pleased, not sad. Just tired. 

Sendak ushered him in wordlessly, immediately deciding to let Lotor set the tone of this encounter. 

Lotor studied the room for a moment, looking at everything but Sendak. There wasn’t much; Sendak had never really been a collector of things. 

“Can I stay the night?” Lotor asked finally, as if he needed to.

“Of course.” Sendak had just been getting ready for bed himself, and Lotor was always more than welcome to join him. “Are you alright?”

Lotor nodded jerkily. “I’m fine. I just- I had a bad dream. It’s silly.”

“I doubt that.”

Lotor shrugged. “I wasn’t ready to see my father again. That’s all. I forgot how-“ He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

It probably did matter, but Lotor would never admit that. All Sendak could do at this point was offer him comfort. 

“Are you ready for bed?” Sendak asked. “I was about to lie down anyway.”

Lotor nodded, and they went into the other room. Sendak pulled the covers back for Lotor, and Lotor climbed in, a soft smile lighting up his features. 

Sendak climbed in after him and held him, nuzzling the back of his neck.

The mating bite had scarred very well during the two weeks they’d been at Central Command, leaving a clear impression of Sendak’s fangs.

Lotor didn’t purr, but he did make a pleased noise, before nestling closer.

He was quiet and still such a long time that Sendak assumed he’d fallen asleep, but then, very softly, he asked, “Sendak, do you want children?”

It was a reasonable question, now that they were mates. “One day,” Sendak said. “When you’re ready. If you’re ever ready.”

“I’m not even sure if I can have children,” Lotor said. “I may not be...fertile.”

“You use contraceptives,” Sendak pointed out. Lotor wasn’t exactly open about a lot of things, but Sendak didn’t think there was any other reason for him to be taking them. 

“I don’t want to take the risk.” He was quiet for a few minutes more, but Sendak just waited patiently. “One day,” Lotor said finally, “I would like to have children, if I- we -can, but… I won’t do it, as long as my father is still alive.”

Sendak understood, very suddenly. He pressed a kiss to Lotor’s mating scar. “No,” he agreed. “I think that’s probably for the best.” 

“Our children deserve better,” Lotor whispered. “I couldn’t just watch them go through- any of it. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I know.” 

Lotor didn’t say anything else, but he intertwined their fingers, guiding their joined hands down to rest over his lower abdomen, over his womb, and he didn’t need to say anything else; Sendak understood. 

* * *

“What’s it like?” Sendak asked. “Being in heat, I mean.”

“You’ve been with other omegas before. You’ve never asked?”

“It seemed like a stupid question. I guess I never felt… I didn’t feel like I could talk to them, the way I can talk to you.”

Lotor smiled, in that soft, private way he smiled when he was particularly pleased about something. “Well, you didn’t mate any of  _ them _ .”

Sendak kissed his cheek. “That’s right. So. What is it like?”

Lotor frowned thoughtfully. “It’s...like a peak, I suppose. There’s the same need, the same drive, only a thousand times stronger. And, of course, the purpose of it is in the forefront of your mind: to get fucked and knotted, to get pregnant. But only by the right alpha. One who can provide, both during the heat and after. One who will stay through the pregnancy, one who will care for the child. Even if you can’t get pregnant, it preoccupies your thoughts.” He laughed. “It makes alpha selection difficult sometimes. Most alphas can satisfy you physically, but a heat is not all physical. It is -it can be -emotional, too, and peaks aren’t. Which is probably why alphas think that heats must be so… humiliating, or… a weakness, or something.” He sighed. Took a long pause. “For me, it’s the only time I don’t have to think. It’s that strong. You don’t need to think, you just have to let instinct take over. Peaks aren’t like that. You’re still expected to report for duty during your peak, but no one would even think to make an omega report during a heat.”

“I’d rather not report for duty during a peak.”

“But you can function. I suppose it makes sense, in a way. You could get someone pregnant just about any time during your cycle. I’m only receptive for less than a week. You have time to focus on other things.”

“Thank you,” Sendak said, “for answering my question.”

“How are you supposed to learn something if you don’t ask questions? Besides, I… I like talking to you. Ask whatever you want, and I’ll answer it, if I can.” 

Sendak liked hearing Lotor ramble about anything, anytime. He knew a lot, about a lot of different things, and his eyes lit up when he was talking about something he was really interested in… So Sendak was probably going to take him up on that offer. For now, he kissed Lotor on the cheek. “I suppose I fit all of your alpha selection criteria?”

“And then some.” 


	9. Role Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just porn, tbh

Lotor had known, in the back of his mind, since that first heat that Sendak had some...interesting predilections. Most alphas had to be asked to go down on someone, and even then, they usually refused. Sendak had simply done it, without prompting. It was a little unusual, but not exactly aberrant, per se.

Lotor hadn’t expected this.

Not that it was objectionable; quite the opposite, actually, and the subject of some of Lotor’s more...salacious fantasies. 

Still… Sendak was something of an alpha’s alpha, despite (or maybe because of) his fastidiously correct manners: confident, strong, dominant…

“You want me to fuck you?” Lotor asked, to make sure he’d heard correctly. 

“You don’t have to,” Sendak said. “But I would like it if you did.”

“You’re…” Maybe it was stereotypical, but Sendak was an alpha in the height of his peak; he  _ shouldn’t _ want this. But he did. The thought of such a dominant alpha submitting for him made Lotor’s mouth water. “Alright.” 

He’d never fucked an alpha before -no alpha had ever asked- but he had some experience from when they weren’t exclusive. So he wasn’t completely out of his depth. 

Another thought occurred to him: “Have you ever-?” A flash of jealousy surged through him at the idea, that Sendak might have asked someone else -another alpha maybe? -to fuck him. That someone else might have seen his mate like that.

“No,” Sendak said. “I’ve thought about it, but before you, there was no one I trusted enough to ask.”

“Good,” Lotor growled, climbing into Sendak’s lap. 

Sendak laughed. “Sometimes, I think you should have been born an alpha. So jealous and possessive, more than ready to stake your claim. It’s almost a shame you can’t knot me, but I suppose this makes up for it.” He slipped a hand underneath the loose robe Lotor wore, to his slit, rubbing insistently against the folds. 

It wasn’t the right part of Lotor’s cycle for him to be dripping, but even so…

It took almost all of his self-control to bat Sendak’s hand away, rather than encourage him to open him up slowly, teasingly, drawing out moans and sighs and…

“That’s not what you asked for,” Lotor said crossly. 

“Maybe later,” Sendak said. “Would you like that?”

Lotor refused to dignify that with an answer, instead leaning over to the bedside table for the bottle of lube. It wasn’t necessary most of the time, but it was nice to keep it on hand just in case. Or for times like this, when Sendak decided to surprise him with his deviancy. 

“How do you want it?” Lotor asked. 

“From behind,” Sendak said. 

It felt even dirtier like that, like it completely flipped every expectation of what they were, what they were supposed to be, upside down. As if Sendak was the omega, and Lotor was the alpha. 

Lotor’s cock throbbed. “And do you want my bite, too? Want me to mark you as mine? Want me to be your alpha?”

“Yes, alpha,” Sendak said.

Lotor had to close his eyes and exhale slowly. All of the fucking around he’d done Before Sendak, and he’d never quite considered this. It was… a really good idea.

Lotor got out of his lap. “Turn over, then.”

Sendak scrambled to obey as Lotor threw his robe off. He’d been chilly earlier, but that was the last thing on his mind now. 

Lotor took a moment to study Sendak: the thick, well-defined muscles of his back, visible even under his fur; the slope of his ass; the anticipation that was clear in every muscle and tendon and ligament…

He draped himself over Sendak’s back, using one knee to spread his legs a little farther apart. “Do you think of this often? When you’re alone, galaxies away from me, and it’s late, so no one will interrupt you? Do you imagine it’s me fucking your ass, or someone else?”

“You,” Sendak murmured, “always you.”

Lotor rewarded him with one slick finger pressing against his rim. “Have you done this before?”

Sendak nodded, and Lotor continued: “Then you know you need to relax.”

He nuzzled the side of Sendak’s neck, something Sendak would have done if their positions were reversed. In due time, he had two fingers inside Sendak, stretching him in preparation. “That’s it, don’t want to hurt you,” Lotor murmured.  

“You won’t,” Sendak said. 

Lotor kissed his shoulder. “Ready?”

“Always ready for you, alpha.”

Lotor pressed his forehead against Sendak’s shoulder, trying to ignore how his cock twitched at that. How empty he felt. “ _ Fuck _ .” 

He felt Sendak laughing, more than heard him, and he tugged Sendak’s ear in retaliation, before coaxing him up onto his knees.

He sat back a moment, enjoying the view, and then slicked his cock up. For once, he wasn’t the one desperately out of his mind with arousal, and he wanted to enjoy it. 

He pressed his cock against Sendak’s ass, grinding forward a little; Sendak pushed back, trying to get Lotor to finally fuck him. 

And Lotor would. Soon. But not just yet. 

This was a position that Sendak must have been in hundreds -or even thousands -of times over the years, with him and with others, but it was very nearly novel to Lotor. 

He reached under Sendak, to his cock, huge and hot and heavy in Lotor’s hand, giving it a few light strokes; Lotor’s slit clenched with the memory of what it was like to have that in him, filling him up, stretching him, splitting him open…

“Lotor,” Sendak growled.

Lotor growled in return. “Is that how you speak to your alpha?” He wasn’t remotely angry, but it was fun to tease Sendak. 

Sendak whined and- Lotor had never heard him whine before. He hadn’t thought alphas  _ could _ whine; it was considered to be something only omegas did. Lotor’s stomach clenched in undirected arousal.  _ Fuck _ . 

He couldn’t wait anymore, and since Sendak was ready, there was no need to. He lined himself up and pushed in, trying to keep his hips from jerking uncontrollably, but it had been a while since he’d fucked anyone, and having his  _ mate _ here, asking for this… 

“You won’t hurt me,” Sendak said again. “Go ahead, my little alpha, lose control of yourself. Make me yours…” 

“ _ Sendak… _ ” 

“Alpha…” Sendak whined in response, as if he was purposefully trying to make Lotor lose control. (In retrospect, Lotor would realize later, he definitely was.) 

He fucked Sendak, adjusting slightly until he found that spot that made Sendak’s arm give out, leaving his back arched so beautifully…

They were both close when Lotor stretched out over Sendak’s back. Like this, he could barely reach the nape of Sendak’s neck, but he wanted- he needed- “Let me mark you, let me make you mine, please, Sendak, please…” 

Sendak nodded, too breathless to answer otherwise.

Lotor studied himself with one arm wrapped around Sendak’s chest (the other hand was back on Sendak’s cock, stroking in-time to his thrusts, a combination that had Sendak’s hips stuttering in their rhythm) and pressed a kiss to the spot he wanted to put his bite. “Here?”

Sendak nodded again. “Please, Lotor, please,  _ please… _ ”

Lotor had never heard Sendak beg like that before, and it was  _ incredible _ . He sank his fangs into the nape of Sendak’s neck just as his orgasm hit him, tasting blood, sweet and acidic. 

Sendak came, too, with Lotor’s hand providing gentle pressure to his knot, and that prolonged Lotor’s climax until he was spent and boneless. 

He couldn’t hold either of them up anymore, and they collapsed into a heap on the bed. Lotor couldn’t stop lapping up the blood that welled up from the bite. 

Plus, he liked this close, intimate contact with Sendak. 

Sendak started purring loudly, his ears drooping with such incredible relaxation that Lotor would have thought that he’d drifted off, if not for the fact that he found one of Lotor’s hands and intertwined their fingers. 

“Are you alright?” Lotor asked, then, more playfully: “Was that to your satisfaction?”

“Yes, alpha,” Sendak said cheekily. 

Lotor tugged on his ear. 

Without warning, Sendak moved, until Lotor was on his back, Sendak hovering over him, peppering his face with little kisses until Lotor was laughing and trying to push him away (not that he was trying all that hard). 

“You fiend!” Lotor accused, still laughing.

Sendak pressed one final kiss to his forehead, then cuddled up next to him, holding him securely, comfortingly. “I love you, Lotor. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Lotor said. He rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder. “I love you, too.” 

Sendak was quiet for a few moments, then: “I can’t believe you bit me.”

“I asked and you said yes!”

“I didn’t think you actually would.” He didn’t sound even slightly displeased, though. So he was just teasing. ”My little alpha.”

“Would you prefer if I was an alpha?” Lotor asked quietly. 

“No,” Sendak assured, kissing the top of his head. “I like you just the way you are. Alpha, omega… It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re you.” 


	10. Needy

Sendak loved just about everything about Lotor (they’d been together a long time, and it wouldn’t have worked out very well if he didn’t), but there was something very special about Lotor when he was in heat. 

At least some of it was the pheromones, but Sendak had been with other omegas before Lotor, and it hadn’t been quite the same. 

He nuzzled the back of Lotor’s neck, where the mating scar was, and Lotor sighed in pleasure, rocking his hips back and forth a little. He couldn’t get very far, as Sendak had just finished knotting him, but the stimulation made him whine softly. 

Sendak stroked Lotor’s flank. “Shh…” Lotor was probably overstimulated already; there was no need to make it worse. “Shh…”

Lotor relaxed a little, and Sendak took the opportunity to turn and lean back against the headboard, pulling Lotor back so he was reclining against his chest. 

Lotor hummed, a pleased sound, and dragged Sendak’s hand down to rest on his belly. Not as flat as it usually was, with Sendak’s knot preventing his cum from spilling out. 

The primitive part of Sendak’s brain rejoiced at that: it would help make Lotor pregnant, and then his belly would swell further, and Sendak would protect him from any threat and provide for him and help him nurture their child...

Logic had no place here, not when Lotor’s quarters were saturated in his pheromones and the scent of sex. Not when his sole duty now was to attend to Lotor’s every need, his every  _ whim… _

Sendak untangled his hand from Lotor’s and reached for the tray he’d set on the bedside table earlier. Lotor didn’t usually eat during his heats, but he’d seemed thin before his heat started, and Sendak didn’t want him to fall ill. 

It took some coaxing, but finally Lotor ate about half a ration bar, and that was good enough for now. He even managed to get him to drain a glass of water, before Lotor relaxed completely and started purring. 

He had to be tired; Sendak certainly was. It was the second day of his heat, after all. 

Sendak’s hand ended up on Lotor’s belly once more, holding him protectively as they fell asleep. 

* * *

He woke up to Lotor riding him, which was definitely not a bad way to wake up. Gods, if he woke up like that every morning, he’d never get anything done. 

“Couldn’t wait, could you?” Sendak teased, gripping Lotor’s hip in order to still him, just long enough for him to whine about it. “Absolutely insatiable. Good thing I love you.”

Lotor looked over his shoulder to glare at him. “Sendak,” he said warningly.

Sendak loosened his grip, but he bit at Lotor’s neck, just because he could. 

Not that Lotor minded; he loved being marked up, especially when he was in heat. 

Sendak moved his hand lower, to stroke Lotor’s cock a few times. He liked it, but it wasn’t really what he wanted right now.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Sendak asked. “Fuck you properly, make you scream and cry? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

They were rhetorical questions, but Lotor nodded anyway. “Yes, yes, Sendak, please, I need it,  _ please _ …” 

Well, if Lotor  _ needed _ it, who was Sendak to deny him?

* * *

Lotor purred softly under the spray of the shower, and Sendak felt viscerally pleased by that. He liked listening to Lotor’s purr, especially since it was so rare. He purred more often when he was in heat -the disinhibition affected a lot more than just his sex drive -but even so…

This heat was almost over, and in a few days, Sendak would have to leave, to go back to his command posting.

If he could have found a way to stay…

But there wasn’t. Not without raising suspicions. 

Lotor took his hand and guided it down between his legs, a tacit demand. He could be more sensitive during his heats, emotionally speaking, and didn’t want Sendak’s mind drifting to unpleasant thoughts.

Or he was just needy. Either way, Sendak was more than happy to oblige him. 

He traced the outer edges of Lotor’s slit, wet with both the shower’s water and his own slick, almost burning to the touch.

Lotor’s breath hitched and he widened his stance a little, rocking against Sendak’s hand the best he could, demanding more. 

Sendak took mercy on him and pushed two fingers into him; it was so easy, with how wet he was. He pressed his thumb against the base of his cock and crooked his fingers, finding that spot that was just behind his cock, the spot that took him apart, that made him scream when Sendak fucked him. 

Even now, he ground himself against Sendak’s hand, panting harshly in the humid air, with little airy moans mixed in. Other times, he would have tried to stifle those noises, but in heat, he didn’t care how needy and desperate he sounded or acted. 

Watching Lotor truly just let himself go like this was far more satisfying than anything else. It was so rare, so special…

“I love you,” Sendak said, struck for the millionth time with the emotion. He could just never quite believe that Lotor was his, that this beautiful, charming, intelligent, cunning, kind hearted creature wanted him in return. “I love you.”

Lotor came with a sharp cry, shuddering with its intensity. More slick flowed down over Sendak’s hand, even as the delicate walls of Lotor’s slit clamped around his fingers, as if they were a knot.

When the worst of the spasms passed, Sendak pulled his hand free and brought it up his mouth. He loved eating Lotor out, loved the taste and the way Lotor reacted to it.

It was also, evolutionarily speaking, a way for him to assess Lotor’s fertility, which was quite high right now, of course; except for the faint chemical aftertaste from his contraceptives, he tasted  _ divine _ . If not for those contraceptives, this heat would have resulted in pregnancy.

(Probably; the jury was still out on the fertility of Galra hybrids.) 

He told Lotor as much, if not in so many words. One day, Lotor would go into heat without contraceptives, and seven months later, Sendak would help him deliver their child.

Lotor turned around, steadily himself by placing his hands on Sendak’s shoulders, his eyes huge and dark with want and longing. “Do you promise?”

“Yes,” Sendak breathed, as if he could ever deny Lotor anything, as if he would ever want to. 

“Show me,” Lotor said. “Show me how we’ll conceive our firstborn, Sendak.”

Sendak couldn’t hustle them out of the shower fast enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head’s up: this is the last filler chapter for a while, and it’s about to get real heavy, so...buckle up.


	11. Sometimes Dreams Aren’t Just Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, there’s some disturbing shit in this chapter. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

_ Another contraction ripped through him, too hard and fast and close together. The drugs they had pumped into him forced him into labor, forced its progression, well before he was ready. Probably before the baby was ready, too, but they didn’t care.  _

__ _ Each contraction felt like it ripped him apart, and maybe it was; he was damp everywhere, with sweat and blood and other fluids, and the pain was always excruciating, always unbearable. _

__ _ He struggled against the restraints that held him down on his back, with his legs up in the air, splayed open for anyone to see. This was the worst position to give birth in, he knew, and he fought between every contraction to get up and move, reposition himself so that he would have gravity on his side. So that he would have some help now, when there was no one and nothing else.  _

__ _ He’d begged for help earlier, but it hadn’t worked then, and by now, he was too exhausted to speak. Every ounce of his strength was being redirected to force this baby out, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  _

__ _ Someone finally came in. Their face was vague and undefined, blurry. Whether that was his tears or something else, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter.  _

__ _ They stood between his legs impersonally, impartially, just waiting, touching him coldly, unfeelingly, making no move to help.  _

__ _ One final agonizing contraction had the baby slipping free, into their hands. The baby wailed, a sound that cut through the fog of fear and pain. _

__ _ “Let me hold him,” Lotor begged. “Let me see him. Anything, please, just let me touch my baby.” _

__ _ The other person laughed, and cut the cord, and left, the baby still wailing, Lotor still bleeding, still in pain, still needing to deliver the afterbirth, still- _

__

__ “No!” 

Lotor was awake and bolt upright before he realized it. 

Sendak was awake, too. Not surprising. “Bad dream?”

Lotor nodded shakily. It seemed far more vivid that normal. It was almost as if it had been real, as if he’d been there…

He smoothed a hand over his stomach. Flat, of course. His heat had only ended two days prior, and he was taking contraceptives. It was just a dream. Just a dream, regardless of how real it had felt. 

Sendak got up and came back a moment later with a glass of water. He rubbed Lotor’s back while he drained it, as if that would wash away the taste of the dream.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sendak asked finally, when Lotor’s heart had stopped racing.

“It was just a dream,” Lotor said. “Go back to sleep. You have to be up early tomorrow.”

“I can delay my departure for a few days, if you want.”

Lotor smiled softly. “No, it’s alright. I’m fine. It was just a dream.”

Sendak kissed his forehead. “If you’re sure.” 

“I am,” Lotor said, returning the kiss and nestling closer to Sendak. “I’m fine.”

* * *

 

_ He was strapped down once more, the restraints cutting into his wrists and ankles and compressing his rib cage. Even so, that didn’t stop his struggling, and they injected a paralytic into him. _

__ _ It burned, but it didn’t take away the pain, just made his limbs too heavy to move. He couldn’t even turn his head away when they raised the knife -not a surgical instrument, a knife -to first slit open his shirt, and then- _

__ _ He screamed as they cut into his belly. There was nothing else he could do. He just had to take it as they cut him open, cut his baby out of him- _

__ _ There was no rescue coming. He remembered -too vividly, too horribly -the rapid fire shots from several blasters, not aimed at him -not aimed at the valuable thing within him -but at his  _ mate _. It had ended quickly, the only mercy granted.  _

__ _ Lotor would have hoped for a quick end, too, but there was no one left to protect the baby. No one left to care for him. If he died, too, then… _

__ _ They lifted the baby out of him. It didn’t make a sound. Maybe it was too soon, maybe… _

__ _ They handed the baby off to someone else, and he began crying then, and so did Lotor. At least if the child had been stillborn, then nothing they could do would hurt him.  _

__ _ But he was alive, and Lotor wanted to hold him, just once, but-  _

__ _ They handed the baby off to the witch, and she looked at him and smiled, coldly, cruelly. “Perhaps this heir will be more suitable.” _

__ _ And then she left. _

__ _ They made no effort to stem the bleeding, and Lotor knew he was dying. He could feel the life leaving him with each beat of his heart, as his belly filled with blood, as it spilled down onto the floor, as cold began creeping in from his fingertips and toes, and he wished there had been something he could have done for the child… _

* * *

__

Lotor felt on edge. It wasn’t just the series of vivid dreams that woke him up most nights, each more disturbing than the last, although that certainly hadn’t helped.

He was tired all the time, more than usual, and he had headaches -mild, to be sure, but still distracting -and yesterday he’d had a nosebleed. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had a nosebleed. 

He had cramps, too, which he could attribute to his heat a few weeks prior, but they didn’t usually last this long.

Even his sense of smell was out of whack. Compared to the average Galra, his normal sense of smell was rather poor, but now… Gods, he didn’t have to look anymore to see who was in the room; he could tell just by their  _ scent _ . 

It wasn’t normal, but he couldn’t think of what it could possibly be, besides a moderately sized brain tumor (which he hoped it wasn’t). 

At least, until it finally occurred to him that these might be side effects from his contraceptive. The particular kind he was using hadn’t given him problems before, but, as with every medication he’d ever used, his body might have eventually developed a sensitivity to it. Perhaps even an immunity, which meant he couldn’t ignore this. 

He had to assume it was his Altean half that allowed his body to constantly adapt to every environment, internal or external, always trying to find equilibrium. Which was fine, in most circumstances. But not when he depended on contraceptives to keep him from getting pregnant. 

It would not be the first time he’d had to switch contraceptives for this very reason. It was more an inconvenience than anything else. 

It was an easy thing to prove, since he had a handheld scanner in his bathroom. Most couples used such devices as a way to track their fertility, and in a way, he did the same. Only he was trying to avoid becoming pregnant. 

The device would measure his hormone levels, and those numbers would indicate whether or not his contraceptives were still working. If they weren’t, then he’d have to try something else.

If they were, he’d have to see a physician, because there was obviously something wrong with him. 

He aligned the scanner in his hand and waited for the results to come back. It wouldn’t take more than a few minutes. 

His mind wandered as he leaned back against the wall. There was always something to do, and he hoped this wasn’t a major issue. He was behind enough as it was, and had been trying to catch up since his heat. Any drastic course of treatment would only put him further behind, and he was barely holding things together here as it was. It took an extreme effort to scrape together his way of life out here, and even now that he had his generals to rely on…

The scanner beeped, indicating that the results were ready. 

There was no need to brace himself; either outcome could be dealt with, and he would carry on, as he always had. Regardless of the outcome of the scan.

He looked, and his knees gave out, sending him sliding down the wall, in shock and-

“ _ No _ .” 


	12. Attached

Sendak got the messages when he returned to quarters after a long shift. 

Lotor rarely communicated with him unless it was important; infrequent messages were much harder to trace than regularly scheduled ones.

He picked up the comm unit, already frowning. He liked hearing from Lotor, but this was most likely a matter of business and not pleasure. 

He opened the messages.

_ We need to talk.  _

And then, sent fifteen minutes later, like Lotor had agonized over it and finally decided to just tell Sendak, rather than make him worry until they could meet:

_ I’m pregnant.  _

Sendak blinked and reread the messages. 

This...couldn’t be  _ right _ . Lotor was fastidiously careful, and he’d always been insistent about not having children until the time was right (and Zarkon was dead). 

But Lotor also wasn’t the type to think that this would be a particularly funny prank. He wouldn’t lie about this. Maybe…

But, if he was, then they did need to discuss this, and sooner rather than later. Lotor’s heat had ended over two months ago now. Whatever he decided to do, it was best to decide soon.

Arrangements would need to be made, either way, and-

He typed out a quick message with a place and time for them to meet. He wasn’t free for a few weeks, but it was the best he could do.

* * *

Lotor’s ship was in orbit above a small moon, and since Sendak had the codes, it was nothing to dock and come aboard, even though his hails had been unanswered.

It happened, sometimes; Lotor got busy or invested in things and didn’t notice the chime. 

The atmosphere aboard the ship was cold and... _ unwelcoming _ . It was silent -there weren’t even any sentries patrolling - just empty corridor after empty corridor. 

It was somewhat unsettling. He could pick out Lotor’s scent, but it was stale, as if he hadn’t been aboard in months. But he had to be; Sendak’s scans had shown a single lifeform in this ship.

He stopped by the cockpit first, to see if Lotor was there. He wasn’t, but he’d programmed the autopilot to keep the ship in orbit around this moon.

He checked Lotor’s quarters next, and found Lotor curled up in bed, cocooned in one of the largest and softest blankets he owned, his back to the door. 

“Lotor?” Sendak asked quietly. 

Lotor didn’t say anything, just slid over a little to allow Sendak some room. An invitation for Sendak to join him.

Sendak did, pressing himself against Lotor’s back, wrapping his arm around his waist.

Lotor pushed his hand up, to his ribcage, before he could touch his stomach. 

He didn’t...smell right. If he was pregnant, Sendak should have been able to smell it on it. His scent would have changed, and while it was still early -probably no one else would have noticed -Sendak was his  _ mate _ . He would have noticed.

“I made a mistake,” Lotor said, very quietly. “There is no baby. I’m sorry.” His fingers were still intertwined with Sendak’s, and he squeezed them, almost comfortingly, almost soothingly, except that he was  _ shaking _ ...

He didn’t want to talk right now. Whatever was going on… He’d tell Sendak later. It could wait, until he was ready. There was no point trying to force it out of him.

Sendak held him a little tighter and purred for him, even after he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Lotor still seemed tired when he woke later. Tired and  _ sad _ , Sendak realized, when he rolled over to face Sendak finally. 

He looked terrible, like he hadn’t slept in a month, gaunt and pale and exhausted. 

“I should have cancelled this meeting,” Lotor said, his eyes averted. “It’s unnecessary. There’s...nothing to discuss.”

“It’s alright,” Sendak said. If Lotor had made a mistake, he wouldn’t have been so broken up over it. Maybe he would have been happy, even; he didn’t want to bring children into the universe yet. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.” 

Lotor was quiet for a long time, then nestled closer, tucking his head under Sendak’s chin. His voice was muffled when he started talking. 

“My contraceptives failed. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but it is the first time I haven’t caught it until after my heat, and by then… It was too late. 

“I messaged you because I didn’t know what to do. I was...afraid. I’d been having these dreams, and in each one, somehow my baby was stolen from me, by the Druids, by the witch, by… But I- I didn’t want it to be my decision alone. I didn’t want to do this alone. I intended to come here to discuss what we should do, whether we should figure something out, or...

“I realized, one night, as I was trying to fall asleep, that I- I couldn’t. I couldn’t terminate. I wanted the baby. I would have fought, tooth and nail, to prevent anything from happening to her…”

“Her?” Sendak asked.

Lotor nodded, but he continued his story. “I couldn’t. By the time I realized something was wrong, it was too late. There was nothing the doctor could do.”

_ Oh gods _ . He’d had to go through that alone. Sendak should have been there, to comfort him if nothing else. He should have been there. He didn’t know what to say, though, and anyway, Lotor wasn’t quite done yet.

“They ran tests, after, to figure out why, and if it would happen again. They told me it would have been a girl, and that they don’t know why I couldn’t- They don’t know. These things just happen,” he said bitterly. 

“I’m sorry,” Sendak said. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that at all, much less  _ alone _ .” 

“There was nothing you could have done.” He sighed. “Maybe… It’s better this way. They told me that she hadn’t developed a sense of touch yet. That she had no real awareness. She didn’t know pain or suffering, or how cruel this universe could be. All she knew was this.” He guided Sendak’s hand down to his belly. He wouldn’t have been showing yet, so early in the pregnancy, and Sendak couldn’t feel any changes. 

Sendak kissed his forehead. “I would have supported you, whatever you decided. I would have loved her. I would have taken care of both of you.”

“I know,” Lotor whispered. He was quiet for a few more minutes. “I loved her so much already,” he said, clinging to Sendak and sobbing, hard.

It was like a dam breaking, and Sendak could do nothing to stop it, so he didn’t even try. He just held Lotor and let him pour all his raw grief out. 

Lotor was right: even if he had been there, there would have been nothing he could have done. But...such grief should be shared, to lessen it, to ease it. 

Finally, he cried himself out, but he still clung to Sendak’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying. “I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t have told you. There’s no reason for you to-“

“Lotor,” Sendak admonished gently. “You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. I know you didn’t tell your generals, and that’s your decision, but I am your mate. I- I want to be there for you.”

“If I hadn’t told you, you never would have known. You would have been none the wiser. They always say ignorance is bliss, don’t they?”

“You don’t believe that,” Sendak said. 

“I wish I’d never known,” Lotor said quietly. “If I had just...waited a few weeks, then… It would have been over before I even knew about it. I wouldn’t have gotten attached, and she just...would have been gone. It would have been easier that way.”

“I know,” Sendak said with a sigh. “I know, my love.”

“But she’s gone, now, and I suppose… It is for the best. It’s not fair, but… What would we have done? Whatever we decided, it wouldn’t have been fair for her, either. She would have had to live with me for the first year, at least, and then what? If she lived with me, she’d rarely get to see you. If she lived with you, then she’d never see me. Besides, a battleship isn’t an appropriate place to raise a child, and… Someone would have asked, eventually, either way, where she came from, and if my father found out about her…” 

“Lotor-“

“He would have taken her away from me,” Lotor continued. “He would have taken her away from me and mistreated her in the same way he mistreated me, in the hopes she could be his heir, and she would have been unloved and abused and-“

“Lotor!” Lotor finally looked up at him, and Sendak continued: “It’s over, my love. You don’t need to worry about that anymore. I know it hurts, and I know it’s not what you wanted, but it’s over.”

“I know,” Lotor said. “I just… I wish it could have been different.” 

Sendak pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “One day, it will be.” 


	13. Discussion

Lotor had nightmares for years afterwards - _ there had been so much blood, and he’d been so helpless and afraid  _ -and he could never quite put her out of his mind. 

She would have been almost four by now. He wondered, when he had a few spare moments, what she would have been like. What she would have looked like -his eyes, perhaps, but Sendak’s nose? -what her personality would have been like -would she have been shy? Adventurous? - what her first word would have been…

It was strange to miss someone who had never really been more than a concept and some tissue, and yet… 

During that meeting with Sendak, after the miscarriage, he’d been half-intending to shoot himself up with heat-stimulators and demand that Sendak give him another baby, but his common sense had won out. If she’d survived, he would have raised his daughter to the best of his ability, but there was no reason to purposefully bring a child into this. Not now. Not  _ yet _ . 

Sendak was arriving later today -ostensibly to make sure that Lotor wasn’t up to something, but really because Lotor had asked him to spend a few days here -and Lotor was...nervous. Just a little. It was the first time they’d seen each other since that meeting, and while it wasn’t unusual for them to spend years apart…

Sendak had been so supportive, after, but it had been four years, and maybe he’d decided that he didn’t need an omega who couldn’t carry to term. Lotor’s rational mind insisted that it wasn’t a problem, but he’d been discarded for less before. 

And… he did have something to discuss with Sendak. It would be hard. He didn’t want to talk about it, and Sendak probably wouldn’t want to hear it, but it needed to be said, and the sooner, the better. 

He received the message that Sendak’s ship was docking, and he straightened his armor before going to meet him. 

* * *

A few hours passed before they could be alone, as much as Lotor wanted to spirit Sendak away, out of sight of the few crew members that remained, and keep Sendak all to himself. 

When they finally were alone, Sendak was achingly gentle with him, so careful and tender, and sometimes Lotor wanted to pretend that Sendak meant nothing to him -it would have been far easier if that was the case -but he couldn’t, not like this. Not when Sendak held him like he was the most precious thing in the universe.

After, Lotor listened to the steady beat of Sendak’s heart, idly combing his fingers through the fur of his chest while Sendak purred quietly. It was such a nice, peaceful moment that he wanted to stay in it forever.

He couldn’t, though. He wasn’t allowed to have this, and he’d forgotten that somehow. The miscarriage had been a painful, but perhaps timely, reminder. 

“Sendak,” he said quietly, and he half-hoped that Sendak was asleep, so he could put this off a little longer.

“Mm?”

”We need to talk,” Lotor said. 

Sendak’s purr stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s  _ wrong _ ,” Lotor said. “Just… I’ve been thinking about things, and I- I think maybe we should- we should take a break.”

Sendak didn’t say anything for a long moment, but Lotor didn’t dare look up at him. He couldn’t. 

So, instead, he continued: “It’s- it’s not that I’m… bored, or unsure, or… anything like that. I just- This is- It’s- Distracting.”

“Distracting,” Sendak repeated.

“And it’s nice, to be distracted from everything for a little while, but I- I forget the big picture, sometimes, and I- When you started courting me, you implied that we would… kill my father, perhaps, and take his place. And we have done nothing to that end. Because, perhaps, I forget about everything when I am with you. And I- There are things that need to be done, my darling, but until then, perhaps we should…”

Sendak sighed. “You’re right,” he said finally. “I don’t want you to be, but you are. You always are.” 

“It’s been eight thousand years,” Lotor said. “I can’t continue to do nothing.”

“You’re not doing nothing,” Sendak protested.

“It’s not enough.” He sighed. “It will never be enough. I do love you, Sendak, I really do, but… I can’t sit by idly anymore and let this continue. I have to do something, and I can only do it if I don’t have to worry about you getting caught in the crossfire.”

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I do, though. If you were implicated…”

“What are you planning?”

“It’s best if I don’t tell you. For both our sakes.”

Sendak sighed again, absently stroking Lotor’s hair. “That’s probably for the best,” he agreed. 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do, more than anyone. I know you would never willingly give up something I told you in confidence, but…”

“Everyone breaks eventually,” Sendak finished. “So. What are you going to do during your heats?”

“I’m starting suppressants in a few weeks.” That would halt his cycle completely, and he’d no longer experience the extremes of heat or peak. 

“ _ Lotor… _ ” Sendak breathed. 

“I’ve already made up my mind,” Lotor said. “I can’t- I can’t lose another child like that again, and this way… I’ll have more time to- to plan, and not have to worry about...any of that.”

”They could-  _ Lotor… _ ”

“I know,” he said quietly. The doctor had only mentioned it fifteen times, that there was a twenty percent chance that the suppressants might render him permanently sterile. “I know. But it is… the right choice, right now.” 

“Alright,” Sendak said. He was always so understanding… Why wasn’t he angry? Why wasn’t he yelling or- “Lotor, do you want me to wait for you?”

“What?”

”I’ll be there for you when it’s over. If you want me to. Right? You’re not ending this, just...taking a break. So, maybe, when it’s over, we could…”

“I don’t deserve you,” Lotor whispered, his voice breaking as tears started streaming down his face. “I can’t ask you to wait.”

“But do you want me to?”

“ _ Yes _ .” 

Sendak pulled him as close as possible, holding him while he cried, and- And it wasn’t fair that he was the one who had started this, and now Sendak had to comfort him, when it was all his fault in the first place, and yet he could not deny himself this last bit of comfort. 

“Then I will.” Like it was that easy. Maybe it was, for him. “Just… I have to leave in a few days, and until then, maybe… We could have a few final days together. Just in case.”

As a goodbye, for now or forever, depending on how things worked out. Lotor nodded. 

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “I love you, Lotor. I want you to remember that, whatever happens.” 


	14. For Now

Sendak had almost forgotten about this aspect of Lotor, this skittish determination. Noble to a fault, unwilling to let anyone help him out of the fear that they would get hurt and it would be his fault.

It was, perhaps, understandable, and Sendak couldn’t… He wanted to be angry, he wanted to make Lotor change his mind, he wanted…

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t hold this, or anything else, against him. 

Lotor had clearly thought about it -all of it -and made up his mind. There was nothing Sendak could say or do that would change his mind, so…

There was still a chance for them, if not now, then… Later. After. Provided they both survived the war. Provided the feelings they had for each lasted as long as it took for Lotor to do what he needed to do. 

“I do want a family with you, one day,” Lotor said, very quietly. He was still curled up next to Sendak, his head resting on Sendak’s chest. “But it’s the only way I can be sure that I won’t… That there won’t be… Because I can’t do that again. And I certainly can’t do it alone. It’s not your fault, and I don’t blame you, but you can’t always be here when I need you. Not with the way things are.”

“But it will be different one day,” Sendak said.

“I hope so,” Lotor said softly. “And I will do what I can to make it so.” He sighed. “I suppose, if the suppressants do make me sterile, we could adopt, or… hire a surrogate, or… something.”

“We could,” Sendak agreed, although personally, he really would like to be at Lotor’s side during the pregnancy, watching him grow an entire new life within himself… But just being with Lotor was enough. And it would be enough, once all of this was over. 

“Why aren’t you upset?” Lotor asked after a few minutes. “Why aren’t you angry, or- or-?”

“I am upset,” Sendak said. “I am. I don’t want to- to let you go. But you’ve already made up your mind, and arguing with you about it would only ruin these last few days we have together, and I- I don’t want that, either.”

“It’s not ‘goodbye’,” Lotor said. “Just…’goodbye for now’.” 

“Yes, exactly.” 

Lotor sighed. “You deserve so much better than this. You should be happily married to someone who doesn’t wake you up several times a night, someone who will give you as many children as you want. Someone without all the baggage and the turmoil and…”

“Lotor,” Sendak chided gently. He hated that Lotor never thought that he was good enough. “I love you, and I don’t want anyone else.” 

“It’s not fair for me to ask you to wait,” Lotor said. “I don’t know how long it will take, or if it will succeed, or… And it’s not fair.”

“You’re not asking me to do anything,” Sendak replied. “If you still want me when this is all over, I’ll be there. Tomorrow, or in a thousand years, or in a million…”

“You are too sweet,” Lotor said. “You’re making this very difficult. This isn’t what I want. I want you to tell my father to fuck off, and I want you to stay by my side, and I want… But there are so many reasons why that can’t happen. For now…” He sat up, slinging one leg over Sendak’s hips so that he was straddling him. “I want to forget about all that. Just for a few minutes.”

“Alright,” Sendak said. He pulled Lotor down so he could kiss him.

Lotor kissed back ravenously, and Sendak could tell that he didn’t want to think anymore tonight.

Sendak could make that happen.

It was such a pleasure to be allowed to take Lotor apart like this, and if this was going to be the last time he got to do it for a while (possibly a very long while), then he was going to do his best. 

* * *

There was less than an hour before Sendak was supposed to depart, and yet they lingered. They didn’t talk much; there really wasn’t anything to say. 

But finally… They couldn’t stay here forever. The universe was always in motion, always moving forward, and they were swept up in its inexorable machinations.

Lotor’s fingers skated over the various pieces of Sendak’s armor, making minute adjustments, just one more way to forestall the inevitable. 

When he spoke, he did so very quietly: “I have reached the very pinnacle of helpless fear twice in my life, and those are experiences I never wish to repeat. Do not make me, Commander. Be careful.”

“Yes, my prince,” Sendak replied, catching one of Lotor’s hands and bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “If it is in my power.”

“Make certain that it is,” Lotor said sternly. And then his shoulders slumped, just a little. “Please… I will be content enough knowing that you are well, whether you are mine or not.”

Sendak brushed his thumb over Lotor’s cheek, then slid his hand around to the back of his neck. Lotor’s armor covered the mating bite Sendak had left there, but they both knew what he was getting at. 

“I won’t kiss you,” Lotor whispered, “for I fear that if I began, I would never find it in myself to stop. But know that I love you. Know that you are the one who holds my heart. Know that I- I’m glad it was you.”

“I love you, too.” Sendak itched to touch him, hold him, but like Lotor, he knew that if he did, he’d never stop. Never leave. “Whatever your plans are, Lotor, I know that you will succeed.”

“Thank you,” Lotor whispered. “Until we meet again, Commander.”

“I look forward to it.” And then, before he could change his mind, he left, knowing that if he turned back, it would all be over. 

* * *

Without having visits with Lotor to look forward to, the years passed slowly. It was difficult to remember what life had been like before Lotor, but surely it hadn’t been this... _ empty _ ? 

With nothing better to do, Sendak threw himself headfirst into his work. He’d already been one of Zarkon’s most trusted commanders, but this fervor only cemented his position. 

It wasn’t, as some might have thought, out of spite for Lotor. Never that. It was just… a means to an end, perhaps. A long, slow game that might end in him burying a blade in Zarkon’s heart, and then…

Zarkon trusted him enough to entrust the Red Lion of Voltron to him when it was rediscovered. Trusted him enough to task him with recovering Voltron and the Castle of Lions. 

He regretted it, in the end, as he lost consciousness. It had been too long since he’d last seen Lotor, and he missed him, and he just wanted a chance to- apologize, perhaps, for not being careful enough. For being unable to stand at Lotor’s side, when it was over.

Lotor would have to do it alone, now, and he deserved better than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we’re getting into canon territory (though, obviously, there will be a few changes)


	15. Indisposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Colony doesn’t exist in this universe bc I said so

As if everything else wasn’t enough, of course Lotor missed his monthly suppressant dose. Of course.

It wasn’t bad enough that Sendak was ‘missing in action’ and probably dead.

It wasn’t bad enough that his father had made a full recovery and now wanted him dead or worse.

It wasn’t bad enough that he’d had to kill Narti.

And it wasn’t bad enough that his remaining generals had decided to try to use him to bargain for their own lives, forcing him to turn to the one place he might be granted some modicum of safety.

No, on top of all that, he was going into heat for the first time in almost a thousand years, alone, without any sort of- of relief.

He’d been told, when he started taking suppressants, that his first heat coming off of them would be...intense. 

_ It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  _

He was supposed to be somewhere safe, with Sendak, and he would have stopped taking the suppressants in order to try to conceive an heir, and it would have been fun and happy and-

Instead, he was in this nearly-bare cell, like a bug under glass, trying not to let the paladins see that something was wrong with him.

He wasn’t even technically in heat yet, but he didn’t know what he was going to do once it started. It was difficult enough to pretend he was fine  _ now _ . He didn’t want them to know that he was going to go through a period of extreme vulnerability, where he wouldn’t quite be in his right mind, where he wouldn’t be able to think of anything but-

-Sendak, probably, and he would be forced to remember, over and over and over, that Sendak wouldn't be here. Couldn’t be here. It had been a long time since he’d had any other alpha, but he knew that none could satisfy him. 

Everything was already too much. The constant expectation that he give over any information the paladins wanted, that he answer any questions they had… 

Lotor preferred to dim the lights somewhat when he was in heat anyway, even aboard Galra ships, where the lights were appropriately dim to begin with. Here… 

All he could really do was wrap himself up in a blanket, huddled up on himself, and try not to think. 

* * *

“I think something’s wrong with Lotor,” Shiro said to Allura. “He’s been acting...strange.” 

She sniffed. “I doubt it’s of any concern.”

“He looks...unwell.” He wasn’t going to tell Allura that Lotor had hissed -actually  _ hissed _ , like a cat -at him. “I think maybe we should talk to Kolivan. If it’s some sort of Galra disease, he might need treatment.” 

She sighed. “Very well. But I do hope this does not interfere with the information he has been providing us.” 

Kolivan actually came in person to see what was wrong.

As soon as he set foot in the chamber where the containment cell was, he stopped. “ _ Oh _ .” 

Lotor was huddled up against the section of the cell furthest from the chamber at large, wrapped head-to-toe in a blanket, and he growled, loud and deep, as soon as he noticed them.

Kolivan raised his hands -as if in surrender -and began backing out of the chamber. “We should discuss this elsewhere.”

Shiro frowned, but followed Kolivan’s lead. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Kolivan said. “He is only...indisposed temporarily.” 

“What’s going on? Is there anything we can do for him?” Lotor looked like he was in distress, at the very least, and surely there had to be  _ something… _

 Kolivan made a sound that Shiro swore was a stifled laugh. “I’m afraid there is nothing to do, except wait for this to pass. It is considered unwise to approach an omega in heat.”

“He’s  _ in heat? _ ” Shiro asked. 

Kolivan inclined his head. “It will pass in a few days, but trying to- to even get close might result in bloodshed at this point. Unless he indicated interest in anyone previously?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“Then it is best to leave him alone until it is over.”

* * *

“We need that information,” Allura said. “It won’t be good forever.”

“Forgive me, Princess, but there is nothing that can be done,” Kolivan said. “You will have to wait.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” she sniffed.

“It is considered a private matter, and generally unsuited for...children,” Kolivan said carefully. “There are two types of male Galra: alpha and omega. Omegas may impregnate or become impregnated, depending on if they are in the virile or the fertile phase of their cycle. Prince Lotor appears to currently be in the fertile phase. But it should be over within the next few days.”

She sighed. “And there is nothing we can do?”

“Even the presence of his mate, if he has one, wouldn’t shorten his heat, only ease the symptoms. It is best to leave him alone to deal with this in his own way.” 

“Very well,” Allura said finally. “It’s only a few days.”

* * *

It seemed to last forever, more agonizing than arousing, like every heat he’d forestalled with the suppressants had come on him at once. Instinctively, Lotor knew that there was exactly one thing in the universe that would ease this torment: Sendak’s touch.

And yet he couldn’t have it. He might never have that again.

It did end, eventually, and he’d never been so grateful for his heat to be over. It still felt like he’d been wrung out like a dirty rag, but… Well. It was over. And no one had touched him, so he could be sure… 

Of all the things he had to worry about, at least that wasn’t one of them. 


	16. Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some non-graphic implied hypothetical rape and other disturbing things (just Lotor worrying about things), but I thought I’d give y’all a heads up

Lotor looked a little worse-for-wear when they checked on him after the end of his heat. 

“Are you alright?” Shiro asked. “Is there anything we can get you?”

“I’m well enough,” Lotor said, as dignified as ever. The only real difference was that he was sitting on the foot of the bed, instead of towering over everyone like usual. 

“We have some...news,” Allura said. “Regarding your father.”

Lotor did stand then. “Well?” 

“We’re trading you back to him.”

Lotor stilled completely. “I- You cannot. You cannot believe that he will uphold his end of whatever bargain he has struck with you.”

“He has my dad!” Pidge yelled. 

“And what of- of all the information I gave to you? Did it not all pan out, with one exception?”

“That exception was my dad!”

“You don’t understand what he will do to me,” Lotor continued intensely. “He would have been happy with me dead, but now that the opportunity has presented itself… He may yet find some value in me. In my… womb, rather. His blood runs through my veins.”

“What do you mean?” Allura asked suspiciously.

“He has spent the last ten thousand years being disappointed in me, for a number of reasons,” Lotor said. “The fact that I have neither been nor produced a satisfactory heir is one of them. He will hand me over to the witch and her Druids, they will compel me to produce an heir, and then I will be killed, my child left in the hands of those- those _monsters_ , and you will do nothing about it?”

“We don’t have a choice,” Allura said. “I’m sorry.” 

* * *

Lotor was glad when they left. He’d been close to screaming at them, trying to make them  _ understand- _

It wouldn’t have worked. 

He had nothing left to bargain with. They’d bled the most useful information out of him already, and he was held captive here, with no means of escape. 

No rescue was coming.

He didn’t want to think about the specifics of what was coming, but unfortunately, his mind would not be kept from the subject. 

They’d pump him full of heat-stimulators, a dangerous thing so close to the end of his last heat, not that they would care. The artificial hormones were much stronger than those naturally produced, and it would be very much like being drugged. He probably wouldn’t remember any of it, when it was over. That was likely to be the only mercy, and it was a small one. 

There were a number of alphas in High Command that Zarkon might choose to sire his grandchild; now that Sendak was out of the picture, Lotor couldn’t say for certain which he’d choose. (The non-rational part of Lotor’s mind shrank away from the thought, though it was true. Sendak  _ was _ out of the picture, whether he was dead or simply missing-in-action.) 

Or perhaps he might not choose at all. It would be just another way for him to keep his commanders in line, if they all thought there was a chance that Zarkon’s heir was their child, too. Parental instinct was still strong, in most Galra. (But not all.) 

After… He would be confined, so he couldn’t hurt himself or the child, probably pumped full of drugs to make him docile and hazy. They wouldn’t care about his health; he was just the vessel, after all, to be disposed of as soon as he was no longer necessary.

Would they even let him go into labor, or would they just cut the child out when it was time? 

Suddenly, he recalled the dreams he’d had during his ill-fated pregnancy. Of Druids and doctors cutting into him, taking the child, leaving him to bleed out…

It took all his strength of will not to retch. He was fairly certain there were cameras watching him all the time, and he didn’t want to display any weakness, not now, not so soon after his heat had ended, when he was at his weakest anyway.

And they expected him to face Zarkon like this. 

If he hadn’t sent Sendak away… would it have been any different? Would things have been better? It seemed that they could not possibly get worse. 

He needed to see Sendak now, needed it more than he needed air, but he couldn’t- Sendak was likely dead, killed somehow by these children, and-

He did his best to sleep. The heat had taken a lot out of him -far more than usual- and he would need his strength and wits about him tomorrow. There was a chance, maybe, however slim it was. 

* * *

It was over.

Almost over. But Zarkon was dead. 

Looking back, Lotor was not entirely sure how he’d managed it. In the end, he hadn’t even had the Black Bayard, just scrap metal and hopeless determination. 

He’d been prepared to accept his death in that moment, as long as Zarkon died with him. 

But he’d survived, and Zarkon was dead, and it was almost over.

Still, at least he could be sure he hadn’t been pregnant before the duel; after the beating he’d taken, he certainly wouldn’t have been, anymore, and there were only so many losses he could take. 

A small part of him had wished that maybe, somehow, Zarkon would… reveal that he still felt some sort of… paternal affection for Lotor.

But of course he hadn’t. He’d died, just as full of hate as ever. 

Killing him didn’t bring back any of the lives that had been lost, of course. But… It did prevent him from taking more, and that was all Lotor could do, for now. 

He wanted to do more, but it seemed that these children were too short sighted to see the advantage of taking him to the Kral Zera. 

But, perhaps, as with the Black Bayard, maybe Shiro would come through. 


	17. Not Today, Witch

Sendak gasped, as if awaking from a dream too suddenly. 

His heart raced, and he looked around wildly. The last thing he remembered…

Those damned children, of course.

“So you awake at last, Commander,” a sinister voice said. Sadly, it was all too familiar. “Too late to help your Emperor, but in time to be of use to me.”

Emperor? Had something happened to Zarkon? Hell, what was going on in general? How long had it been? “What-?”

Haggar stepped a little closer. “The Emperor is dead,” she said, “killed by his own son. The Kral Zera is to be held soon, and the Empire should go to someone who will honor the late Emperor’s memory.”

... _ Sure _ . 

“And Prince Lotor?” 

“A traitor. He allied himself with Voltron and refused to face justice for his crimes.”

Sendak nodded thoughtfully, as if he agreed with what she was saying. “There is no point in me going to the Kral Zera,” he said. “It will be rigged, if he is still allied with Voltron.”

“That remains to be seen. Either way, you will go, and you will win, Commander.”

“I may have been loyal to Zarkon,” Sendak said sharply, “but Zarkon is dead, and whatever authority you held over me ended the moment he breathed his last breath.”

“You would not be here if it weren’t for me.”

“Be thankful I will allow you to keep your life,” he said, pushing past her. “For now.” 

There really was no point in going to the Kral Zera. Lotor could handle it. The rest of the Empire, though… After Zarkon’s death, there were likely to be a number of factions, all vying for power. They would need to be brought to heel. And who better to do it than Zarkon’s most trusted commander? 

“Leave this ship,” Sendak said over his shoulder at the witch. “Do not let me catch sight of you again.” 

He could sense -with predators’ instincts, evolved and honed over millennia -that she was weak, vulnerable; there was no reason to fear her. 

And she knew it.

* * *

Lotor lit the flame and turned, expecting -hoping -to be filled with...something. Some sense of triumph, or accomplishment, or relief, or...anything.

There was nothing, though, just this horrible emptiness. He’d always imagined that Sendak would be by his side now, and he wasn’t.

He wasn’t. 

And yet Lotor had to be strong right now. Even bruised and battered and drained and grieving. He had no choice. It had been a long time since the Empire had had an omega Emperor, and while being an omega hadn’t been shameful when he was younger, attitudes had shifted over the long years. (That, too, was thanks to Zarkon.) 

He would have to prove that he wasn’t some weak bitch, only fit for spreading his legs and whining for a knot. 

At least he wouldn’t have to worry about having another heat for a few years. That would give him time to cement his reign. Maybe time to-

-to find a suitable consort for himself. He would need to produce an heir eventually, however much he disliked the idea of having children with anyone but Sendak. 

But Sendak wasn’t here. 

Upon reaching Central Command, he had no shortage of offers. It was only now that he was the Emperor that he was an acceptable option for any of these alphas. Perhaps they thought they could control him; he was  _ only _ an omega, after all, and they were high-ranking alphas. Really, he should be begging for their attentions.

Lotor set the matter aside for the time being. If necessary, he could resume taking suppressants. There were more pressing things to be concerned with: the witch, for instance, who had been suspiciously absent from the Kral Zera. 

In fact, quite a few prominent commanders had been absent, and this indicated to Lotor that he needed to be careful. This refusal to go could be a sign of unrest and division, and that was the last thing he needed. 

“What’s our next move?” Allura asked. 

_ Our _ . So now they were in this together. After he’d done all the hard work. 

“The war is over,” Lotor said. “Zarkon is dead, and if there is any unrest within the Empire, it is an Imperial matter. Now we begin rebuilding.”

“When are you going to start freeing planets?” The Blue Paladin asked accusingly. 

“As soon as I can be sure that they will not fall into the hands of someone whose intentions are less pure than mine,” Lotor replied absently. It would be a lot of work; most of those planets had infrastructure that relied on Galra quintessence, defense that relied on Galra troops, economies that relied on Galra money. Doing this imprudently would result in the collapse of some of these civilizations, famines and wars and-

“Can’t you just...let them go?” 

“It’s not that simple,” Lotor said. “I would, but Voltron cannot adequately provide aid to those already within the Coalition. Your performance on Puig has demonstrated that. A new force grows at the edges of the Empire, and while it has made no aggressive moves yet, I cannot be sure that it won’t.”

“Let us check it out, then,” Allura said.

“No,” Lotor said, shaking his head. “Voltron is not known for its stealth capabilities. At this point, perhaps it is best to wait for them to make the first move.” He didn’t particularly like it, but he knew nothing about this force, and… Well. Sending Voltron to investigate would probably inadvertently start another war.


	18. (Re)Union

Lotor caught the sound of commotion from outside the throne room, but he ignored it. He had guards and sentries now, and he was in the middle of discussing something with the Paladins. 

The doors slid open, and a messenger ran in. “Sire, he’s insisting, and we can’t-“

Lotor turned and- 

His breath caught, and he’d never felt truly speechless before, but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say right now, except, “ _ Sendak _ ?”

Sendak grinned, because of course he would.

“Sire?” The guards asked nervously.

“Let him pass,” Lotor said, not looking away from Sendak even for a moment, because this- This couldn’t be real, and if he looked away… 

The Paladins weren’t happy about this, but Lotor couldn’t be bothered to care. 

Sendak stepped forward and knelt, an appropriate show of deference. “Sire, I come to pledge these amassed fleets to your service, as the true Emperor of the Galra.”

“I do not need your intercession,” Lotor snapped. “I climbed the Stairs of Destiny, and I lit the fire of the Kral Zera. All those who call themselves servants of the Empire must kneel, or be destroyed.”

“It is a gift,” Sendak said, reaching up and taking his hand, bringing it to his lips, so that his words flowed over Lotor’s knuckles, a lover’s caress. “A courting gift.”

Lotor really hadn’t expected him to be so open about this now, after so long. And in front of  _ everyone _ . 

“Together,” Sendak continued, “we will rain down such a fire of purification that no trace of your father’s reign will outlast us, My Emperor. But there is no need to go to war when there are those who will willingly kneel given the right...motivation.” 

“Is this a proposal?” Lotor asked, wanting to be sure. Sendak had said he would wait, that he wanted no other, but… 

“If you want it to be, My Emperor.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Lotor’s knuckles, raising his eyes to meet Lotor’s.

Lotor felt his face go warm. “Yes,” he murmured. “Yes, yes, I will marry you, my darling, my alpha. Did you ever doubt that I would?”

“No,” Sendak said, grinning rakishly once more. 

“Rise,” Lotor said, stepping back a little to allow him room.

Sendak rose quickly, capturing Lotor in an embrace and a kiss before Lotor quite knew what was happening, but  _ gods _ , it was nice. 

He didn’t even particularly care that they still had an audience. None of that mattered.

“I thought you were dead,” Lotor said when Sendak pulled away enough to let him breathe. 

“And yet here I am.”

“Don’t ever leave me again,” Lotor demanded. 

“I don’t plan to, My Emperor.”

“Good.” He pulled Sendak down for another kiss. It had been too long -almost a thousand years -and yet it was as if they had never spent a moment apart. As perfect and full of love as it always had been. 

“Can they spare you for a few hours, My Emperor?” Sendak murmured, the edge of a growl creeping into his voice, possessive and nearly desperate. 

“I fear they shall have to,” Lotor said, “as I am needed elsewhere.”

Sendak scooped him up, as if he weighed nothing. “Good.”

Lotor laughed, in relief, at Sendak’s eagerness, out of sheer  _ happiness _ . 

Sendak carried him out of the throne room -Lotor imagined that anything else they might do really should be kept behind closed doors -and just as the doors were closing behind them:

“So… is anyone else wondering what the fuck just happened?” The Red Paladin asked.

-

“This is real,” Lotor murmured when Sendak set him down on the bed.

“Yes,” Sendak said, gently stroking Lotor’s cheek. 

Lotor pressed his face against Sendak’s hand. “I’ve had dreams like this. I- I missed you, every day, and I- sometimes I wonder…”

“You made the right decision,” Sendak said. “We’re here, and we’re together, and it’s over.” He kissed Lotor’s forehead. “And you are mine, and mine alone, for at least the next few hours.”

Lotor smiled. “I’ve missed that as well.” 

Sendak straightened up and stepped back, out of Lotor’s reach, and he laughed at the way Lotor grumbled about it. “We both know that it will be faster if I undress without your ‘help’,” he pointed out. 

Lotor glared, but Sendak undressed in near-record time, which was definitely a good thing; he didn’t want to have Lotor out of his grasp for a moment longer than absolutely necessary. 

Lotor had already taken his boots off, but apparently he’d gotten distracted. “The years have been very kind to you,” he teased, raking his gaze up and down Sendak’s body shamelessly. 

“I spent the better part of a year in an Altean cryopod,” Sendak grumbled. “I better look good.” 

Lotor’s mouth twisted in distaste, but he didn’t say anything else about it (for now). Instead, he reached out for Sendak, an invitation. “Come here.”

Sendak did, crawling over Lotor and pressing him into the bed, carefully and gently finding each catch in his armor and undoing it, removing each piece as it came free.

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” Sendak said, when Lotor was completely nude. 

Lotor smiled. “You are always so kind to me.”

“You deserve it.” He kissed Lotor before he could protest, then bent down a little further, so he could kiss and bite Lotor’s neck. He could still smell Lotor’s heat-scent, faint but present, and- “You went into heat.”

“A few weeks ago,” Lotor said.

“You’re not taking suppressants anymore.”

“I ran out.”

Lotor never ran out of anything; something else had been going on, and Sendak was going to get to the bottom of it. Later.

“The doctor says it’s a good sign,” Lotor continued, “going into heat so soon after the first missed dose. Means I’m probably still fertile.”

Sendak closed his eyes. “The next time you go into heat, can we-?”

“We can try,” Lotor said, “assuming nothing comes up between now and then.”

Sendak kissed him again, harder and more passionately, if such a thing was possible. The prospect of it was… It would be years, but well worth the wait. “I love you,” he told Lotor earnestly. 

“Yes, I know,” Lotor said.  “Now, I am tired of waiting, darling.”

“Impatient,” Sendak teased. 

“I spent the entirety of my last heat alone,” Lotor snapped. “Touch me or get off so I can do it myself.”

_ Gods _ . He reached down and wrapped his hand around Lotor’s cock. “Better?”

Lotor shuddered, his eyes closed and his ears all the way down and back, a display of absolute pleasure. “That’s,  _ ah _ , not really what I  _ -ah! _ \- want,” he managed. 

Sendak nipped his throat again -a very large part of him was pleased that Lotor didn’t even smell like anyone else, though he wasn’t happy that Lotor had apparently suffered in his absence -and urged Lotor to spread his legs a little wider. 

He still fit between them perfectly, like Lotor was made for him (or he for Lotor), and pressed the tip of his cock against Lotor’s dripping slit. If Sendak didn’t know better, he would have thought Lotor was still in heat, just based on how  _ wet _ he was. 

“You’re  _ soaked _ ,” Sendak murmured. “Missed me that much, huh?”

Lotor growled. “Fuck me already.” 

“Yes, My Emperor,” Sendak replied, thrusting all the way in at once, just to hear Lotor’s viscerally pleased moan. 

Lotor hooked one leg over Sendak’s hip, pulling him closer, deeper.

This was paradise, some ultimate reward, an altar to be worshipped at. There had been no one after Lotor; Sendak was more than capable of taking care of his needs himself, but this was divine, in every sense, and he wanted no other. 

He fucked Lotor thoroughly, deeply, until Lotor couldn’t do anything but hold on.

He could feel his knot starting to swell -he was close enough to his own peak - and he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Quickly, before Lotor could do more than whine, he pulled out and flipped Lotor onto his stomach and quickly thrust back in.

Lotor cried out and arched his back, wanting more, as he always did. 

Sendak brushed Lotor’s hair out of the way and aligned his fangs with the mating bite on the back of Lotor’s neck before biting down. 

He could feel Lotor coming on his cock, the sudden rush of more slick, the rapid muscle spasms, all of it, and that pushed him over the edge, his knot locking them together. 

Carefully, he rearranged them so that they were on their sides, Lotor’s back pressed to his chest. He couldn’t stop lapping up the blood from the renewed bite mark on Lotor’s neck, but Lotor didn’t seem to mind; he tilted his head to allow Sendak better access.

”My mate,” Sendak said, “my emperor, and soon, my husband.” His ran his hand over every part of Lotor that he could reach, a little unable to quite believe that this was real. That Lotor was  _ his _ , from now until the end of time. 

“Yes,” Lotor agreed. 

“I missed you,” Sendak said quietly. “You made the right decision, but I did miss you.”

“I missed you, too. Every day.” He sighed. “But now, everything is different. Better. Only the witch is left to be dealt with, and-“

Sendak huffed a laugh against Lotor’s neck. “She is weak, alone. Afraid. It will be nothing to finish her.”

“And how do you know that, my darling?”

“She meant for me to be her puppet at the Kral Zera. I refused.”

“And instead you gathered all those who would oppose me under the guise of a- a rebellion.”

“Yes. They are oathbound to me, and I am oathbound to you. In time, when you prove yourself to them, they will swear to you of their own volition.”

“You are so sure of me.”

“Why shouldn’t I be? You’ve come this far.”       

“It was hard,” Lotor said softly. “I almost failed half a dozen times in the last few months alone.”

Quietly, softly, Lotor told him everything that had happened since his disappearance. Sendak had known some of it already (Lotor being summoned back while Zarkon was incapacitated, Lotor defeating him), but the details…

“They tried to do  _ what _ ?” Sendak asked, as calmly as possible.                                           

“And after I gave them everything, too,” Lotor said. “The only other thing I could have done was whore myself out.”

“I am glad you didn’t,” Sendak said. “They aren’t good enough for you.”

“I would have done it,” Lotor said. “If I thought it would have kept me alive and out of my father’s hands.” He sighed. “But… It is over.” He guided Sendak’s hand down to his belly. “This is yours to fill, my darling.”

“No one else could match you,” Sendak said smugly. 

“That’s right. How terribly clever it was of you, to unite the Empire by tricking them all into kneeling for me.”

“I asked myself what you would have done,” Sendak murmured, nipping Lotor’s ear gently. 

Lotor laughed. “Nothing makes peace like a royal wedding.”

“And I imagine you’ve had more suitors than you know what to do with, now that you are the Emperor.”

“Only too true,” Lotor said. “But none of them compare to you. Still, I suppose, if I had to, I could have settled for one of them.”

Sendak bit at the sensitive place under Lotor’s jaw. “But you are  _ mine _ .” 

“Yes,” Lotor agreed. “And  _ you _ are  _ mine _ .” Sendak’s knot had gone down by this point, and it was easy for Lotor to turn and pin Sendak’s shoulders to the bed, to sit astride his hips. “Let no one doubt it.”


	19. A New Era

They were married as soon as could be arranged. Galra did not typically believe in long engagements -as with most things, once a course of action was decided upon, there was seldom cause to wait - and anyway, they had known for a long time that this was what they wanted. Only circumstance had kept them apart, not their own desires.

Sendak swore the oaths required to make him Lotor’s Prince Consort, cementing his position as Lotor’s chief advisor, his second, his most trusted companion. 

The war had ended when Lotor lit the flame of the Kral Zera, but the wedding ended the infighting within the Empire. 

It was the beginning of a new era. It had been ten thousand years since the last Imperial wedding, and that had ultimately led to tragedy and war; Lotor hoped that his wedding would be the start of something better.

Lotor was slightly drunk, not so drunk that he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, but drunk enough that he wasn’t terribly irritated when the Paladins demanded a few moments of his time. 

“Such a lively party,” Allura said.

Lotor couldn’t tell if she was being judgemental or not. Probably; she usually was. “It’s tradition,” he said. “A celebration, of new...alliances. And, of course, no one would turn down the opportunity to revel at Imperial expense.”

“I cannot imagine Zarkon allowing such a thing as this,” she said.

“No,” Lotor said. “This is older than him, too. We Galra are a passionate people, and under my father’s reign, war was the only outlet for such passion. I aim to change that.”

She laughed. “How? By throwing more parties?”

He laughed, too. “I fear we would bankrupt the Empire in a matter of weeks. No, I do not yet know how, but… We are adaptable. We will find a way. Enjoy the festivities, Princess. Paladins.”

He could not quite stop himself from swaying a little as he walked away- his own fault; he rarely drank and wasn’t used to it -but fortunately, Sendak was there to steady him. 

“Hello, my darling husband,” he said as Sendak wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him upright.

“You are drunk.”

“Only a little,” Lotor protested. “But I have had quite enough of these revels.”

“Have you? I think the Princess’s advisor has something he’d really like to talk to you about,” Sendak teased.

At least, Lotor hoped he was teasing. “Why would I do that when I could spend the rest of the night with my beloved husband?”

“A compelling argument,” Sendak said, leaning down to kiss the top of Lotor’s head. “I am tired of sharing you with everyone.”

“I imagine you must be,” Lotor said. “Everyone wants a moment of my time, now that I am the Emperor.”

“Let me take you away, then,” Sendak murmured. 

“Please do,” Lotor said. 

* * *

Lotor never quite knew how he ended up in these situations. He’d never  _ ask _ for such a thing, but since Sendak was  _ offering… _ Well, there was no harm in accepting. 

He’d had a feeling that Sendak wanted to taste him again, after so long. He wasn’t sure why Sendak had insisted on him kneeling astride his face, but… Well, Sendak could be persuasive. 

And… It really didn’t matter, the why or how of it, right now. All that mattered was Sendak’s mouth on his slit, sucking and licking, Sendak’s hands on his hips, holding him exactly where Sendak wanted him, unable to do anything but hold on and take it…

Some might have thought that Lotor’s position was one of power, but it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. Sendak was in charge here, systematically turning Lotor into a puddle of goo, eating him out so obscenely that even the thought of it was enough to make Lotor’s breath quicken. 

To actually experience it was… 

“ _ Sendak… _ ” Lotor whined breathlessly. He’d never felt so gloriously out-of-control before, never thought that it would be so  _ good _ .

Sendak’s tongue was thick enough to fill him up. Not as thick as his cock, but more than adequate, and he was so  _ skilled _ with it. 

“Sendak,  _ please _ , I can’t-“

Sendak hummed in satisfaction, the vibrations traveling up the length of his tongue and right into Lotor’s slit, and Lotor wailed as he came.

Sendak pulled him down to the bed and kissed him, his face dripping with Lotor’s slick, and it was a little humiliating and immensely arousing.

“You still taste so good,” Sendak said. “So sweet, so fertile…”

Lotor flushed. “You deviant.”

“Mm… You love it.”

Lotor kissed him instead of answering. He really had made a mess of Sendak, almost as much as Sendak had made a mess of him.

“Can I fuck you?” Sendak asked.

Lotor shivered, but nodded. He was still sensitive; his slit hadn’t even quite finished spasming yet. It would be good, the kind of good that drove every thought from his mind. “Yes, yes, my darling.”

Sendak kissed him again, more fiercely, stealing Lotor’s breath even as he entered him, and it was ecstasy. 

Lotor’s world was reduced to only the input his senses gave; everything else was gone, useless. Thoughts had no place here. There was only the hard, heavy drag of Sendak’s cock against his delicate inner walls that made his toes curl. Sendak’s alpha scent, overwhelming and virile and addictive. His moans, mixed with Sendak’s in an erotic harmony. The sickly-sour taste of blood, from where someone’s lip had caught on a fang.

But most of all:  _ Sendak, Sendak, Sendak.  _ Above him, around him, in him. 

It was too much, in the best possible way. Even as his muscles began tensing in another orgasm, he could feel Sendak’s knot swelling, catching, splitting him apart, locking them together.

Everything was a little hazy after that, fuzzy around the edges with pleasure and the purr that he couldn’t keep from building in his chest. 

“Are you alright?” Sendak asked, holding him close. “That wasn’t too much?”

”It was perfect,” Lotor murmured. “Absolutely perfect, my darling.” 


	20. Planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, it’s mostly just porn and Very Soft Space Husbands. Minimal angst, only fluff

Any lesser Alpha would have been running through the corridors, but Sendak was the Prince Consort, and he had an image to maintain. As it was, though, he did stride with haste and purpose, hoping that no one was going to bother him.

It had only been a few hours since he’d received the urgent communication from the flagship, marked as the highest priority and encoded with the Imperial frequency.

_ The Prince Consort’s presence is required immediately. No delay will be tolerated. _

Sendak imagined that that was certainly true. There was only one reason Lotor would have called him back so suddenly and demandingly:

His heat was early. 

Nearly two whole weeks early, but Sendak was more than willing to cut short his other duties in favor of returning to Lotor’s side. 

As soon as the door to their chambers was closed behind him, he began stripping off his armor. He was not as impatient as he was sure Lotor was, but.

It had been five years since their wedding, five years since the end of the war, and they had been waiting for this moment with bated breath.

Lotor had decided he was ready to have a child. 

Sendak had been willing to wait as long as Lotor needed, but he had to admit, he was excited. He was ready, and now Lotor was, too, and…

He nearly fell over himself trying to open the door to the bedroom and step out of his flightsuit, but he managed to stumble forward, unwilling to waste a single moment more of Lotor’s heat. 

Lotor was sprawled out on the bed, one arm flung carelessly over his eyes, the other shoved down between his legs, somewhat obscured by the over-large shirt he was wearing.

One of his, Sendak assumed. Lotor’s heats were intense, and he’d probably already been at his wit’s end by the time he’d had a message sent; hours had passed since then, and he would have wanted something to tide him over until Sendak could get here. 

His heat-scent was thick, permeating everything, more intoxicating than the strongest liquor. 

“Lotor,” Sendak said, not wanting to startle him.

Lotor glanced up, his eyes dark and glowing golden. “ _ Alpha _ ,” he breathed, licking his lips, hungry and wanting and needy. “Come here, alpha. I need you.”

No force in the universe could possibly have stopped Sendak from going to him when he asked like that. 

Sendak was on him, kissing him, before he even quite registered moving. Lotor did his best to kiss back, but it was clear that this wasn’t enough. He wanted more, wanted to be knotted and  _ bred _ , wanted… 

Sendak gently pushed him back into the bed and moved down his body, pushing the shirt up and spreading his legs. He wanted to get his mouth on Lotor’s slit, taste how delicious and fertile he was, see how wet and ready he was…

He was  _ soaked _ , practically all the way down to his knees. Sendak had the urge to slowly and carefully lap it all away, clean him up, but he seriously doubted that Lotor would tolerate that sort of delay. 

So he pressed his tongue firmly against Lotor’s slit, swollen and sensitive with desire. Lotor cried out; this wasn’t really what he wanted, either, but his hips still bucked up into it.

Sendak gripped his hips firmly, holding him steady while he devoured him. Without the chemical aftertaste of the contraceptives present, he tasted so much better, so much sweeter… 

Lotor’s legs tensed around Sendak’s neck and shoulders, his heels digging into his back as he came, even more slick drenching Sendak’s chin and the bed below. 

None of that mattered. 

“ _ Alpha _ ,” Lotor whined. “Alpha, please, please,  _ please _ !” 

“What do you want?” Sendak asked, rubbing his cheek against Lotor’s inner thigh, one more way of staking his claim. “Tell me, my love.”

Lotor snarled; he wasn’t terribly verbose or patient while he was in heat, but it was terribly fun (and erotic) to make him beg. 

“Need you, alpha. Need your cock. Need your knot, alpha,  _ please… _ ” 

“What’s my name?” Sendak asked. “Ask me by name.”

Lotor struggled a little against Sendak’s grip. If he really wanted to free himself, he could have, but instead, he fell limp again, panting, trying to clear his head enough to figure out what Sendak was even asking. 

“ _ Sendak _ ,” he whispered finally. “Sendak, please, please, fuck me, I need it, please stop teasing me…”

Sendak pressed a kiss to the crest of Lotor’s hip. “Good boy. My sweet, lovely emperor… I’ll take care you, shh…” He moved Lotor’s legs so that they wrapped around his waist, aligned himself, and thrust in.

Lotor came, just from that, shuddering and panting and whining for “ _ more, more, please, Sendak _ ,” and who was Sendak to deny him? 

* * *

This heat was by far the most intense Sendak had ever shared with Lotor. Whether it was because of his emotional state (happy and content and  _ safe _ ), the fact that he’d been taking suppressants for a thousand years and only recently come off them, or the fact that he wasn’t on contraceptives anymore, Sendak didn’t know, but frankly, it was a good thing he was in season, too, because otherwise, there would have been no way he could keep up. 

Not that he wasn’t having a good time, because obviously, he was. His mate and husband begging and whining to be fucked in every possible way by him and no one else? A wet dream come true. 

It was just… If Lotor wasn’t pregnant by the end of this, then...

He’d just finished knotting Lotor, but Lotor wouldn’t sit still, which was both uncomfortable and erotic. On one hand, he’d just come, and even at the height of his peak, he couldn’t quite go again so quickly. On the other, Lotor was trying to milk him dry, instinctively trying to give himself the best chance of conceiving. 

“Shh, I’ve got you,” he murmured, holding Lotor still with one hand (the new prosthetic, of Lotor’s design, of course) on his hip. The other, he wrapped around Lotor’s cock.

Mostly, right now, Lotor just needed to get off, and it didn’t really matter how. (Well, it did, a little, but this was the best Sendak could do at the moment, since Lotor’s slit was still stuffed full of his cock, and would be for some time, especially if he kept moving like that.) 

Sendak kissed and nipped at his neck, and stroked his cock until he came.

Finally, Lotor went limp, purring loudly, reclining against Sendak’s chest. 

He purred so often now (almost every night and most mornings) but it was still  _ special _ . It still made Sendak’s heart feel lighter, knowing that Lotor was happy enough to express it like that. 

“I love you,” Sendak murmured, rubbing his cheek against Lotor’s neck. “Love you so much.”

Lotor’s ear flicked a few times. “Love you too,” he murmured, intertwining his fingers with Sendak’s. 

* * *

It ended after what seemed like an eternity. It had only been three days -sometimes, Lotor’s heats could last four, although (thankfully) that was rare -but it felt like much longer. Not necessarily in a bad way, but…

Sendak was still glad it was over.

Lotor had to be, too. He just groaned upon waking up, burying his face in the nearest pillow.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Sendak said. He’d already showered -fur and fluids didn’t really mix well together -but he’d drawn Lotor a hot bath, the way he liked. 

Lotor just made a grumpy noise, refusing to move, but that was no obstacle. 

Sendak picked him up. “You don’t have to do anything but relax,” Sendak said, carrying him over to the bathroom and depositing him in the bath. 

Once he ensured that Lotor was alright for the moment, he went back to the bedroom, quickly stripping the bed and putting clean sheets on it. Food had already been sent up, mostly simple easy-to-eat things. 

He picked up the armor he’d very carelessly discarded the other day, a little chagrined at his haste. Bot honestly, it had been so worth. 

“Sendak?” Lotor called from the bathroom.

“Yes?” Sendak asked, looking in on Lotor.

“Help me up?”

“Can’t stand?” Sendak asked, trying to disguise how smug he felt about that.

Clearly, it didn’t work; Lotor looked unimpressed. “It’s a good thing that I love you,” he said.

“Mm.” Sendak helped him out of the bath and dried him off, before carrying him back to bed. 

Lotor sprawled out bonelessly. “I’m never moving again,” he groaned. 

“Guess you’ll have to stay here forever,” Sendak said lightly. “Where I can take care of you as your belly grows with our children…”

Lotor propped himself up on his elbows. “Do you think it worked?” He smoothed one hand over his belly, still muscular and flat. 

“After all the effort we both put into it,” Sendak said drily, “I would hope so.”

Lotor laughed a little, falling back onto the mattress. “I can’t remember ever having a heat that intense. The doctor warned me, but  _ gods… _ ”

“The suppressants?”

“Mm.” He frowned. “My heat started early, right?”

“Nearly two weeks early,” Sendak confirmed. 

“Did I...send you a message?”

“You did.”

Lotor groaned. “Do I even want to know how demanding it was?”

“Probably not,” Sendak admitted. Lotor could be very demanding when he was in heat, not that Sendak minded; he found it very attractive. “If it makes you feel better, I would rather be here with you than supervising the military withdrawal of whatever backwaters you send me to.” 

“That’s important work!”

“Of course it is,” Sendak said. “But your needs are important too, and you needed me to be here. So I came back.”

Lotor sighed. “I  _ am _ glad of that. I don’t want to spend another heat alone ever again.”

It had been five years, and they didn’t really talk about it, but Sendak knew that it had taken a toll on Lotor, and it wasn’t difficult to imagine that he might want to avoid that circumstance in the future. 

He sighed again, before raising his eyes to meet Sendak’s. “Will you stay? At least until we know for sure? And, if I am, then… will you stay the entire time?”

“Of course,” Sendak said. As if he was even considering leaving again. Even now, he didn’t particularly like being parted from Lotor, though it was usually only for a few weeks at a time at most. “What a question, Lotor.”

Lotor let his eyes fall closed as he smiled. “Good.”

“You can’t go to sleep just yet, my love,” Sendak said sternly, propping Lotor up. “Eat something; you must be starving.”

Lotor grumbled, but considering that the kitchens had sent up an inordinate amount of food, and that Lotor polished off over half of it, Sendak had been right. 

He was even more drowsy after the big meal, so Sendak curled up behind him, holding him and keeping him safe. Lotor started purring, and Sendak couldn’t stop himself from joining in. 


	21. Untimely Interruptions

“Lotor?”

“Hm?”

“When are you going to talk to the doctor?” Sendak asked.

Lotor froze. “Uh…”

“You are going to see him at some point, right?”

“There’s no reason to yet,” Lotor said. “We still don’t know for sure if I am pregnant. I haven’t had any symptoms.” Or, at least, none that were certainly a sign of pregnancy. Anyone who had as much to do as he did would have headaches and nightmares, and the cramps were normal for the post-heat period anyway. 

“It’s been two months, Lotor,” Sendak said, a hint of exasperation creeping into his voice. “Surely you could test for it by now.”

“It’s better to wait,” Lotor hedged. “The false-positive rate can be very high so early on.”

“And how long were you planning on waiting? Until you’re noticeably pregnant? Until the baby’s born?”

“No,” Lotor said stubbornly. He finished dressing down for bed and joined Sendak. “I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

Sendak pressed himself against Lotor’s back, his arm slung around Lotor’s waist and his nose pressed to the base of his neck. “ _ Oh _ ,” he said finally, softly. “I understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand,” Lotor said crossly. 

Sendak nuzzled the side of his neck. “You’re afraid.”

“I am  _ not _ ,” Lotor protested sharply.

Sendak held him a little tighter. “It’s alright if you are, especially after…” 

After the miscarriage. It had been such a long time ago, but… He still thought about it often, especially now, after this last heat, when the possibility was there. If he was pregnant, then there was a chance he could lose it, too. 

It would hurt far more if he allowed himself to bond, even a little bit, with the child first. If he didn’t know, then… It would just be over. 

“Whatever happens,” Sendak said, “I will be here for you.”

The tears came too suddenly for Lotor to even have a chance at quelling them, and he turned over, pressing his face into Sendak’s chest as he sobbed. 

Sendak held him, murmuring soothing nothings, shielding him from everyone and everything else. 

“I can’t pretend to know what you went through,” Sendak said, after Lotor had mostly calmed down, “but...it must have been difficult, especially since you were alone. But you aren’t alone anymore, alright? Whatever happens, we’ll be together. I promise, my love.” 

Lotor nodded, and Sendak kissed the top of his head and started purring for him. 

Lotor relaxed a little. “I’m being silly,” he whispered, and he hated that, but…

“You aren’t,” Sendak said. “It’s an understandable fear, and maybe seeing the doctor would help reassure you that everything is alright.”

Completely reasonable. But not what Lotor wanted to hear. 

“I did everything right,” Lotor said. “I did everything right, and I still lost her.” He’d been eating well, sleeping regularly, seeing the doctor -who had assured him that everything was normal, that she was healthy -and still… “What if it just...isn’t meant to be? What if I can’t-?”

“Oh, Lotor, it’s not your fault.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you did everything you could for her. I know that you loved her. It’s not your fault, Lotor. You carry too much sometimes; you are not the root cause of all tragedy.”

“Aren’t I?” Lotor whispered. “My father always blamed me for my mother’s death, and that-”

“He was an evil, vile man,” Sendak said. “I don’t care what he thought, and neither should you.”

Lotor sighed. “You’re right. I just… I don’t want to be in that kind of pain again.”

“I know,” Sendak soothed. 

Lotor remained cuddled up against Sendak’s chest for a few more minutes, quietly enjoying the steady beat of his heart, the warmth of his embrace. “I’ll schedule something soon. I promise. Will you go with me?”

“If you want me to.” 

“I do.” He sighed again. “I suppose I’ll have to… I might as well do the test now…” He just didn’t want to get up. The bathroom -and the scanner -was so far away…

“You don’t really need to,” Sendak murmured. 

Lotor paused. “You...knew?”

Sendak was silent, but that was answer enough.

“I cannot believe-!”

“I was going to act surprised when you told me,” Sendak said, “if that makes you feel better. But yes.”

“How!?”

“Your scent changed a few weeks ago. I was waiting for you to bring it up, but… I am worried, and I think you should get checked out to make sure everything is normal.”

“Stop being so reasonable,” Lotor muttered. 

“One of us has to be,” Sendak said. 

“Can anyone else tell?” Lotor asked.

“No. It’s not- It’s still faint. I can only smell the change when you’re right here in my arms.” He kissed Lotor’s forehead. “Where you belong.”

Lotor hummed in satisfaction. “And you...like it?”

“You smell  _ delicious _ ,” Sendak murmured. “Almost like you’re in heat, but...better, somehow. Not quite as intoxicating, of course, but still good, still sweet.”

Lotor kissed him. “If I weren’t so tired, I’d have you fuck me right now for being so sweet and understanding, but unfortunately…”

“Rest,” Sendak said. “I can be patient.” 

* * *

It took two weeks and eight doctors for Lotor to find an obstetrician that he and Sendak both liked. Lotor would have been happy with the doctor he’d had the first time, but unfortunately, he’d died in the war. 

The eighth doctor, Dr. Vrol, had a no-nonsense attitude that Sendak liked and a willingness to listen to Lotor’s worries that Lotor appreciated. The other doctors had mostly dismissed Lotor’s concerns, and he didn’t particularly care for that. 

So. 

“Idiopathic miscarriages do occur slightly more frequently in omegas,” Dr. Vrol said, “but the chances of a second one occurring are very low, Sire, since there don’t seem to be any underlying health issues.”

“So everything is alright?” Sendak asked.

“Perfectly normal and healthy,” Vrol said. “And… most miscarriages in omegas occur before ten weeks, and as I’m sure you know, Sire, you’ve just crossed that threshold.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Lotor said. “I feel...reassured.”

“That’s my job, Sire,” Vrol said. “If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me, no matter what time it is. Many doctors disregard these worries, especially in first-time pregnancies, but I’ve found that instinct can be very strong and should be listened to.” 

“This isn’t my first pregnancy,” Lotor said, smoothing a hand over his belly. Still mostly flat, and only really noticeable if he was looking. 

The doctor grimaced. “The concerns of those who have miscarried previously tend to be ignored more often. If there’s nothing else, Sire?”

“No, that will be all for now,” Lotor said. “Thank you again.” 

Dr. Vrol left with a polite nod to both of them, and Lotor leaned against Sendak’s shoulder. 

Sendak slipped his hand down to Lotor’s belly. He did that whenever they were alone, as if he couldn’t get enough, and Lotor wasn’t even really showing yet. 

Still, Lotor didn’t mind; Sendak’s touch was especially comforting now. And he usually used his flesh hand, which was always nice and warm. 

“Feel better?” Sendak asked.

“Yes,” Lotor admitted. 

Sendak didn’t say anything, but Lotor knew he was feeling smug about being right. 

“Dr. Vrol said we could have sex as long as I felt up to it,” Lotor said, changing the subject somewhat. Actually, every single doctor had said that, as if that was the important part: Sendak enjoying his marital privilege and not the health and safety of their child. But whatever. 

“And do you feel up to it?” 

“Mm.” He was far enough along that the fatigue he’d felt during the first several weeks was wearing off, and now… Not that they’d really been abstaining much, after the first week or so following Lotor’s heat (they’d needed a break), but… He climbed into Sendak’s lap, straddling his thighs, facing him. “I always feel up to it now.”

“I can tell,” Sendak said. “You were already insatiable, but now I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up with you.”

“I believe in you,” Lotor said. 

Sendak laughed and bent down to mouth at Lotor’s throat, while also finding the catches to Lotor’s flightsuit. He wouldn’t be able to wear it for much longer, but it still fit for now.

Lotor gasped at the first touch of Sendak’s fingers to his slit. He was so  _ sensitive _ now. 

“You’re so  _ wet _ ,” Sendak murmured. 

“Stop fucking teasing,” Lotor growled. He tried to reach for the catches in Sendak’s own suit, but Sendak batted his hand away. 

“I’ll take care of you.”

“ _ Alpha _ ,” Lotor said warningly. 

The comms kicked on. “Sire?” A panicked tech said. “Sire, we can’t- She won’t-“

Lotor caught the sound of a crop hitting something, and he groaned. “Oh  _ no _ .”

“What’s wrong?” Sendak asked, a growl creeping into his voice. 

The door chime sounded, and Lotor sighed. “Of all the times for her to show up…” He did up his pants and stood. “Go wash your hands.”

“Lotor…”

The chime sounded again. “The longer we put this off, the worse it’s going to be,” Lotor said, hoping he didn’t look too disheveled

Sendak frowned, but did as Lotor asked.

Lotor answered the door. “Dayak.”

“Blood Emperor,” she said, with a shallow bow.

“That’s rather archaic of you,” Lotor said, standing aside so she could enter the sitting room. 

She ignored that. “You didn’t tell me that there was a Prince or Princess of the Blood on the way.”

“It’s… We haven’t- We would have, if we had known where to send such a message.” (They would not have, either way.) 

“Well, it doesn’t matter.” She raked her eyes up and down his body, pausing on his belly; he wasn’t normally self-conscious, but he did not like to be studied like that. “I’m here now.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary,” Lotor protested. Pregnancies were such a highly personal thing, within Galra culture; they wouldn’t even be making an announcement until after the child was born. If either of them had family, it might be slightly different, but… “I’ve chosen a doctor that I like, and-“

She sniffed again, in disapproval. “A  _ doctor _ . What nonsense. You don’t need a doctor, Sire; I’ve delivered many strong children.”

Oh, that was  _ not _ happening. Not in a million years. 

“There will be plenty of time to discuss it,” Lotor said diplomatically. 

She raised an eyebrow -when he was a child, it would have made him fall in line immediately, but he wasn’t a child anymore- but before she could say anything, Sendak was back.

Lotor tried not to look too relieved. 

“You must be the prince consort,” Dayak said. 

Sendak looked at Lotor, a prompt for an introduction. 

“Dayak, my governess,” Lotor said. 

“Of course,” Sendak said. “A pleasure.” He didn’t mean it; Lotor had told him about his childhood, and while Lotor was willing to forgive, Sendak was not. (The subject of their respective childhoods had come up when they were discussing their future children and how to raise them.) “What brings you here?”

“Rumors of an Imperial heir,” she said bluntly. 

Of course there were rumors; speculation abounded regarding the presence of the obstetricians Lotor had invited here. But no one would openly speak to him about it; that was impolite. 

“Ah,” Sendak said, glancing at Lotor again. 

“The children- I assume there will be more than one; you’re quite healthy, Sire -will eventually need a governess, and in the meantime, I can-“

“That won’t be necessary,” Sendak said, as politely as possible. “But thank you for your concern.”

“Sire,” Dayak said, more-or-less ignoring Sendak.

Lotor really didn’t want to be here right now. “I am...fatigued,” he said. At least he always had a convenient excuse to get out of things now. “Please excuse me.”

He left, making a tactical retreat to the bedroom. There was a headache building behind his eyes, and he really didn’t want to deal with this. Just because he’d forgiven Dayak for his upbringing, did not mean he was willing to accept her back into his life. And like hell was he going to let her anywhere near his children.

But he couldn’t just... _ tell _ her that. 

He kicked off his boots and laid down on the bed, one arm slung over his eyes, and other hand on his belly. 

He didn’t want to fight with Dayak -that was a difficult thing to do, and anyway, she usually won - but since he was pregnant, there wasn’t really a chance that she would challenge him to a duel. Sendak, on the other hand, was fair game.

He groaned. 

He couldn’t hear whatever they were saying, only the low, intense murmurs of their voices, but he didn’t care. 

Finally, though, the main door opened and closed, and a moment later, Sendak came into the bedroom. “Are you alright, my love?”

“Well enough,” Lotor said. 

Sendak sat down on the bed. “Headache?”

Lotor nodded. “She didn’t challenge you to a duel, did she?”

“No.” Sendak leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I assured her that you were doing well, and didn’t require more help.”

“I have you and Dr. Vrol,” Lotor said. “That’s more than enough.” 

Sendak stroked his hair back from his face. “She said she’d talk to you later, when you were rested.”

“I’m sure,” Lotor said. 

“Do you need anything?” Sendak asked.

“No, I think I’m just going to take a nap. Wake me in about an hour?” 

“Alright.” Sendak kissed his forehead again. 


	22. Professor Lotor’s Biology Lecture (Non-Sexy Version)

Lotor felt infinitely better after his nap. He was still somewhat irritated about Dayak’s sudden and unexpected arrival, but at least his headache had abated. 

He knew Sendak wasn’t terribly happy about her presence, either, and Lotor couldn’t blame him. If he’d found out that someone had beaten Sendak as a child, he wouldn’t have liked them very much, regardless of how Sendak felt about them now.

And they were on the same page about allowing that to happen to their child. 

Dayak certainly wouldn’t understand. Lotor had been a little young for the palen bol, but it had helped him survive in situations he wouldn’t have made out of otherwise. And he was grateful for that.

It was just… He was going to take better care of his children than his father had taken care of him. Much better care. Infinitely better care. And they wouldn’t need to be subjected to such a practice. 

And, frankly, he hadn’t been intending on employing a governess anyway. A few tutors, perhaps, to educate the children during the day, but he and Sendak wanted to be the ones to tuck their children in at night, the ones who would raise them and be there for them. 

That was unusual, for the Imperial family, but it could be done. Lotor knew it, felt it. He didn’t want his children to wonder if they were loved, and far more importantly, he didn’t want them to fear him or anyone else tasked with looking after them. They deserved happy childhoods.

He realized he was crying. Stupid hormones. 

Sendak came into the room. “Oh, you’re awake. I was just about to come get you.” And then he crossed the room and realized that Lotor was crying. “My love, what’s wrong?”

Lotor allowed him to gather him up and shook his head. Nothing was wrong, really, and at this point, he was just as likely to cry over pictures of baby animals. He sniffled a little and wiped his face, before turning a watery smile Sendak’s way. “The baby isn’t even here yet and already he’s causing trouble.”

Sendak huffed a laugh and kissed the top of his head. “Already takes after you, then.”

“Rude,” Lotor said mildly. He snuggled closer to Sendak. “I just… I don’t know how to deal with Dayak. It’s been a long time since the last time I saw her. I’m not a child anymore, but…”

“If you want,” Sendak said, “I’ll deal with her.”

“You would do that? For me?”

“I would do anything for you, my love,” Sendak said. “And anyway, I’m not afraid of her.”

“You should be.” 

Sendak sighed unhappily. Not because of Lotor; just… he was still upset about Lotor’s childhood, angry at all the people who’d been meant to nurture him, and instead… 

Lotor was long past that, but then, he’d lived it, come to terms with it. Regained control over it. Sendak could only hear about it after the fact, powerless to do anything to make it better. 

And he hated that. 

“Just be polite, respectful, but firm. She does care about me, in her own way, and once she realizes that you only have my best interests at heart…”

“I am not letting her near our children,” Sendak said firmly. 

“No,” Lotor agreed softly. 

* * *

The matter was resolved -Lotor didn’t know how, and he didn’t want to -and after a few weeks, Dayak left again (but not before giving a great deal of unsolicited advice), promising to return for the naming ceremony. 

The thing about running an Empire was that if it wasn’t one thing, it was another, and a few days after Dayak left, the Paladins of Voltron showed up.

They did that from time-to-time, since they were technically allies. 

Sendak didn’t particularly like them, either; he’d never really forgiven them for their treatment of Lotor (not that Lotor had forgiven them for their treatment of Sendak). But he managed to be polite, and that was all Lotor was going to ask for. 

He really didn’t need an intergalactic incident right now. He was still dealing with the fact that his flightsuit didn’t fit anymore. 

Obviously he knew that it would happen eventually; he just hadn’t been prepared for it, emotionally. (To be fair, he wasn’t emotionally prepared for most things these days; the hormones made his emotions ricochet around his skull like a laser in a hall of mirrors.) 

The robes he wore now did a lot to disguise his belly, and frankly, it was for everyone’s sanity that he wore them; Sendak really enjoyed his changing body, the deviant. 

Plus, they were quite comfortable. The flightsuit had grown rather...tight. 

Sendak went with him nearly everywhere these days, his usual protectiveness kicked into overdrive by the pregnancy. Not that Lotor minded; it was instinctively comforting to know that his alpha was nearby. He could, of course, take care of himself if he really needed to, but if Sendak was willing to deal with any and all threats, why bother? 

Even before the pregnancy, Sendak made a point of accompanying him to any meetings he had with the Paladins. He didn’t trust them, and frankly, neither did Lotor. But they were a force within the universe, and as much as Lotor would have prefered not to deal with them, he had little say in the matter.

They might be inconsiderate selfish children, but they did have the universe’s most powerful superweapon in their possession. 

Still, he did like having Sendak with him during these meetings. 

He chose to meet with them privately -they had little grasp of court etiquette and apparently had no intention of learning, and he really didn’t need them unintentionally pissing off one of his commanders - in the comfort of the sitting room. 

Sendak sulked in one corner, where he had a good view of both the door and Lotor. 

“Paladins,” Lotor said, “a pleasure, as always. What brings you here?”

“Just checking on the progress of the military withdrawals,” the Black Paladin -the hybrid; Lotor could  _ smell _ it on him now - said. “You promised to have a number of sectors cleared by now.”

“There have been a few setbacks,” Lotor admitted. “But nothing that will require military action, I assure you.” 

The Empire wasn’t even part of the Coalition; why did he have to play by their rules? He knew the answer -a number of treaties signed at the end of the war -but he was feeling rather grumpy currently. 

“Some of the planets in those sectors have requested that my forces stay a little longer,” Lotor continued, “as a stabilizing force. They feel more secure with garrisoned troops nearby.” 

“We could provide troops temporarily during the transition,” Allura said.

“How is that any different than the way things stand now? One occupying force is much the same as any other. Unless you will personally oversee the matter yourselves?” 

They were silent, exchanging quick glances; just as Lotor had thought. 

“The matter will be dealt with,” Lotor said. “They just need more time, to arrange elections and set up their own legitimate governments.” Hardly an issue worth traveling halfway across the known universe to deal with. 

“Still, I feel that Coalition forces would better serve to- to reinforce the current state of affairs,” Allura said.

“The Galra Empire was not defeated,” Lotor said sharply. “And we will not act as if we were. You don’t need to pretend that you crushed the Empire in order to achieve victory. This is not, and never has been, a zero-sum game.” 

“I’m not saying that it is,” Allura said. “But the Galra Empire is a member of the Coalition, and-“

“It is  _ not _ ,” Lotor said firmly. “It is not, and never will be. We are your allies, nothing more. We are not your subjects, to be ordered around and bullied into submission. The Coalition is vast, but even in its current state, the Galra Empire remains the dominant force in this universe. Do not forget that.”

“Lotor,” Sendak said quietly. He was the only one who could calm Lotor down these days. 

Not that Lotor was going to back down or apologize for his behavior. This was just a reminder to stop before he went too far. 

“Still,” Lotor said, after taking a deep breath, “we will meet with you as equals. We are not eager for another war, so soon after the last has ended. But as equals, we must hold each other in equal respect, equal regard; to do otherwise is not conducive to these negotiations, and will not further your cause.”

He did not expect any of the paladins to apologize; that wasn’t really their style. 

“Very well,” Allura said, which was the best Lotor was going to get. “Let’s move on, then. How are you enjoying this peace?”

“Quite well, thank you,” Lotor said, relaxing a little. And he was; despite the discomforts of pregnancy, he’d take that over war any day. 

“Yeah, it looks like it,” the Red Paladin said, mostly to himself. 

“ _ Lance _ ,” the Black Paladin hissed. 

“And what,  _ exactly _ , do you mean by that, Paladin?” Lotor asked calmly. 

The Paladin turned as red as his lion. “It’s just… I mean, we’re not at war anymore! Yay! So… you don’t need to be as fit anymore, maybe…?”

“I’m pregnant,” Lotor said drily. 

There was a long moment of silence. 

“Oh,” Allura said. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said. He relaxed again, resting one hand on his belly. “Please know that we are quite sincere in our desire for continued peace.”

“Yes, I imagine you must be,” she said. 

The Green Paladin was studying him thoughtfully. 

“I imagine you must have questions,” Lotor said. It actually would have been useful to have Dayak here, now; she was the one who had taught him about that subject as well. “Do humans and Galra differ so greatly?”

“I mean, I don’t mean to pry, or anything, if you’re…if you…” she said.

Lotor hummed thoughtfully. “There are two Galra sexes, male and female, but there are two subdivisions of male Galra. Etymologically, ‘male’ refers to those who are potentially able to produce semen, so both alphas and omegas are referred to as male. However, omegas are also able to bear children.”

“Shouldn’t omegas be a third sex, then?”

“Perhaps, but the language evolved before omegas did. Omegas are a relatively recent development, evolutionarily speaking. There are two theories about how omegas evolved, though one gained more popularity under the reign of my father than the other. The first, and more probable, is that some Galra interbred with another Daibazaali species -one that was hermaphroditic - and some of their offspring exhibited and passed on that trait. The second is that a remarkably fertile intersex Galra passed on these traits without ‘diluting the gene pool’. Of course, genetic studies have shown that there is no such thing as a ‘purebred Galra’; some of the conquering we did was through warfare, but most of it was through cultural and genetic assimilation.”

“That’s why there are such vast phenotypic differences between Galra.”

Lotor nodded. “Of course, my father wished for all that to be forgotten, but it never will be. It never can be; it is written in our genetic code, and any who know how to look can see it.”

“So, what are you having?” The Red Paladin asked.

Lotor blinked. “A...baby?”

“No, I mean… are you having a boy or a girl?” 

Lotor cocked his head. “There’s been no reason to find out yet. Scans do not provide the necessary clarity; other procedures could  lead to miscarriage, and are therefore only done if something is amiss. We’ll find out in thirteen weeks anyway.” 

“You don’t look like you’re twenty-seven weeks pregnant,” he said. “My sister-in-law has has like, four kids, and-“

“Galra pregnancies last for seven months,” Lotor supplied. 

“Oh. Man, she would be  _ so _ jealous.” 

In spite of himself, Lotor smiled a little. At the root of it, these really were just children, and with time and experience, perhaps they would better themselves, grow into the men and women they were meant to be. 


	23. Unexpected Guests

Lotor was...incredibly distracting. Normally, he did it purposefully, teasing Sendak for fun and pleasure.

Now… He didn’t have to  _ do _ anything. Between the pheromones and his changing body, Sendak couldn’t help but turn all his attention on him whenever he was in the room.

It wasn’t difficult to guess that Lotor loved the attention. Sendak hadn’t been inattentive before, but this was on an entirely different level. 

There were only two months left, and for the last few weeks of that, Lotor intended to remove himself from the public eye, in order to prepare for the birth. It was, frankly, a good thing. Sendak did his best to curb his instinctual protectiveness, but it was practically impossible.

Lotor didn’t mind that, either, but it wasn’t polite to randomly growl at everyone who got too close to Lotor (an arbitrary distance that changed by the hour). 

But, in the evenings, when it was just them… 

Lotor wanted physical contact more than ever now, and Sendak was happy to give it to him, whether that meant cuddles, handholding, backrubs, sex… It didn’t really matter.

For now, Lotor was sitting propped up on the bed, pretending to read some report or other, nude (he ran very warm now), one hand resting on his belly. 

At five months, he was noticeably pregnant, and the baby’s movements could be felt from outside the womb; perhaps that was why Lotor smiled softly.

“He’s very active today,” Lotor said, not looking up as Sendak entered the bedroom. 

“He’s impatient,” Sendak said, leaning down to kiss Lotor’s cheek. “Restless. Just like you.” 

Lotor hummed contentedly. “Feel,” he said, guiding Sendak’s hand to his belly.

The baby kicked underneath Sendak’s hand, and sometimes he almost forgot that they had created this life, but it was impossible to forget now, with the proof so readily apparent. 

“You’re  _ incredible _ ,” Sendak breathed, awestruck, not for the first time. 

Lotor looked up at him, his eyes already glistening. “You’re going to make me cry.” 

“Everything makes you cry, my love,” Sendak reminded him gently. It was true, but it wasn’t his fault; Sendak only had second-hand exposure to those pregnancy hormones, but he could tell that they were powerful stuff. 

“Make it up to me,” Lotor demanded.

Sendak laughed and kissed Lotor again. “Don’t I always?”

Lotor sniffed and set his tablet aside. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

The pregnancy made Lotor more insatiable, but it also meant they had to use some creative problem solving, since they couldn’t fuck face-to-face anymore.

Still, Sendak had no problem manhandling Lotor. He sat down and pulled Lotor into his lap, Lotor’s back to his chest. “Will this satisfy you, my love?”

“It will do,” Lotor said, feigning disinterest. He couldn’t disguise the scent of his arousal, though, and anyway, this was one of his favorite positions (always had been, but especially now that he was pregnant). 

Sendak caressed Lotor’s belly. It wasn’t that he was unduly attracted it, specifically, but- well, he’d always found Lotor attractive, and this certainly did nothing to change his mind. 

Gods, Lotor was beautiful, and Sendak told him so, murmuring it directly into Lotor’s ear, before rubbing his cheek against the column of Lotor’s neck. Lotor hummed contentedly, but guided one of Sendak’s hands down to his slit. 

Why pregnancy made Lotor so wet, Sendak didn’t know, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. It only made it easier for him to slip two fingers into him, gently spreading him open.

He was too sensitive to want hard and fast right now, but Sendak was adaptable, and he really didn’t mind these slow, sweet sessions. There was something very nice about taking his time to prepare Lotor properly, about making him fall apart with nothing more than a few gentle touches. 

It didn’t take long for him to come the first time, shuddering and panting, clenching hard around Sendak’s fingers.

“Beautiful,” Sendak murmured, working him through it. “So perfect for me…” 

Lotor made a pleased sound, too short to be a purr, but still immensely satisfied. 

“Do you want more?” Sendak asked. He usually did, but it was still a good idea to ask. 

Lotor nodded. “Yes, alpha.”

Sendak kissed the mating bite on the back of his neck and coaxed Lotor up onto his knees; it gave him better control, let him take his pleasure without Sendak needing to worry if he was being too rough. 

Lotor twisted around a little to kiss him, slow yet dirty, slipping one hand down between them to free Sendak’s cock. 

He’d been hard since he got here, so it was a relief. Lotor’s gentle, teasing touches were not. 

Sendak caught his wrist. “That’s not necessary.”

Lotor laughed. “Do you find me that alluring, alpha?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Sendak growled. 

Lotor made that pleased noise again, before sitting himself down on Sendak’s cock, drawing low moans out of both of them. 

“You should,” Lotor said. He guided Sendak’s hand back to his belly. “This is your doing, after all.”

_ It was _ . Sendak had never doubted that; he was the only one with this intimate privilege, after all. Lotor was  _ his _ , and he was Lotor’s. 

He growled, too viscerally pleased and possessive to express it any other way, when Lotor began rolling his hips. Soft, grinding motions, rather than the hard, deep thrusts he usually preferred. But it was good, it was enough, it was perfect, because it was  _ Lotor _ … 

His nipped and nuzzled and kissed at Lotor’s neck, his ear, his shoulder, staking his claim despite not needing to. His mate carried his child; what more claim did he need? 

“You’re so good to me, alpha,” Lotor murmured. “Taking such good care of me. Of our child. I knew you would. I couldn’t find a better alpha if I searched for a million years. So big and strong, and yet so sweet and gentle, but just for me. Just for me, because you’re  _ mine _ .” 

Sendak rumbled approvingly, biting the back of Lotor’s neck, almost too hard; Lotor cried out, coming hard, hard enough to make Sendak come, too, lost in the pure bliss of knotting his mate.

Lotor started purring almost immediately, reclining against Sendak’s chest, stretching his legs out.

Sendak lapped at the new bites marks on the back of his neck. The original scars were still there, but he liked renewing them, like reminding them both of their bond. ”Are you alright, my love?”

Lotor nodded. “I would have said something. You know that.”

“Just want to be sure.”

“You worry too much,” Lotor said. “That’s my job.”

Sendak laughed against Lotor’s neck. “I have an obligation to take care of you, my love. This is, as you said, my doing, after all,” he said, gently running his hands over Lotor’s belly. 

Lotor’s purr grew louder. 

* * *

The Paladins really had bad timing. Which was nothing new; Sendak had known that since his first encounter with them. 

Still… Lotor had excused himself from all of his public duties, either by postponing them until after the baby was born, or by having Sendak fill in for him, and spent most of his time in the Suite.

Part of it was his recent diagnosis of pregnancy-related paranoia. Surprisingly, his case was on the milder side, but he didn’t really want to be around other people very often, irrationally convinced that they were going to hurt him or the baby.

It would resolve after the baby was born, in about a month or so, and as he still allowed Sendak and the doctor near him, there wasn’t much cause for concern. This was, apparently, a fairly common symptom as pregnancy progressed. 

The other part was that he was sleeping a lot right now. Also normal, but it was unusual for Lotor to sleep 15 hours a day. Still, the doctor had said to let him sleep as much as he wanted, and, well… Lotor rarely got adequate sleep, so it was nice to see him taking it easy.

So, of course the Paladins showed up now. (It could have been worse, Sendak supposed; they could have shown up during Lotor’s heat.) 

Lotor insisted on meeting with them, because of course he did. He didn’t really like them either (although he’d dislike them even more if Sendak hadn’t glossed over what had happened to him while he was in their care, but of course, Sendak hadn’t wanted to worry Lotor), but he also understood the importance of being friendly with the people who controlled the most powerful super-weapon in the universe (debatably; Sincline had never been pushed to its full potential). 

Still, Lotor was making an effort, so Sendak did his best, too. 

Lotor had insisted on sitting next to him on the sofa, and despite how…  _ unusual _ it was to show affection around other people, he cuddled up to Sendak’s side, purring quietly. Probably too quietly for anyone else to hear. So he was in a good mood today. 

“You look  _ stunning _ ,” the Princess said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

“I have a great deal to be happy about,” Lotor said, as content as Sendak had ever seen him. “Everything is going...well.”

Which was probably as much as he was going to say about the pregnancy; it was considered bad luck to talk too openly about it before the baby was born. 

“I’m glad,” she said. “We actually… We brought you a few gifts. For the baby.”

“That’s not necessary,” Lotor said immediately. 

“No, but… We aren’t just allies anymore, are we? I’d like to think that maybe we are becoming...friends.”

Sendak could tell that Lotor was on the verge of tears, so he found Lotor’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you,” he said on his behalf, because he knew that Lotor still didn’t like crying in front of people. 

“Here,” Allura said. “It’s not much, but I thought you’d like it.”

She handed Lotor a flat box, and Lotor opened it. There was a flat disk-like object it, with a chain of some kind to suspend it from the ceiling. 

“It’s a mobile,” Allura said. “As well as a nightlight. There’s a switch on one side, and…”

Lotor held it up and turned it on. 

The mobile projected little solar systems, their planets slowly and soothingly circling their stars, emitting a soft illumination.

Lotor smiled. “It’s Daibazaal, here, and Altea… Thank you, Allura. It’s beautiful.”

She beamed. Now that she didn’t have the weight of the war on her shoulders, she really was more of the girl Sendak imagined she must be. “You could program different systems in, if you wanted. Maybe to use for educational purposes as the child got older?”

“Yes. What an excellent idea.” Lotor turned it back off and carefully set it back in its box. “We weren’t expecting guests, but we can have refreshments sent up, if you’d like.”

“That would be very kind,” she said. “Although we did have one more gift for the baby.” She handed him another box, more square this time.

Inside was a little toy lion, but purple. “It’s adorable,” Lotor said.

It was quite sizable, for a toy, and would likely end up being larger than the baby would be at birth. Sendak could so easily imagine it: their child sound asleep while clutching at the toy, their child carrying the toy (as it got increasingly more ragged) everywhere as they grew up. 

Lotor squeezed his hand, hard. “Please excuse me for a moment,” he said abruptly, standing.

Sendak turned to him, a question on his lips, but Lotor shook his head and retreated to the other room. 

“Is he alright?” Allura asked, concerned.

“He’ll be fine,” Sendak said. Lotor was probably just going to cry for a few minutes. Not something Sendak was thrilled about (he didn’t like to see Lotor upset), but nothing really serious. “It’s just…”

She nodded, very seriously. “Yes, I…”

“Hormones, am I right?” The Red Paladin said. 

Sendak did his best not to glare. He was pretty good at controlling his temper, but-

He decided to ignore the comment, and instead arranged for refreshments to be sent up. “Do you plan to stay here long?” He inquired politely.

“No, unfortunately, we’re only stopping on our way to assist on a rebuilding project,” Allura said. “We’ll leave in a few hours.”

“You are always welcome to enjoy Imperial hospitality,” Sendak said, lying just a little. Still, it didn’t do to get on the Voltron’s bad side, and he wasn’t eager to go back to war, not with a child on the way. 

Lotor came back after a few minutes of awkward small talk, the evidence of his crying jag carefully washed away, and sat back down next to Sendak. “You are, of course, invited to the naming ceremony,” Lotor said. “We don’t have an exact date just yet, but we will let you know when it gets closer.”

“Is it a party?” The Yellow Paladin asked. “Will there be food?”

Lotor cocked his head.

“I’ve always wanted to try real Galra food,” the Yellow Paladin supplied. “Not just the ration bars. No offense! But…”

“They’re only meant to be nutritionally sound,” Lotor said. “Taste was not taken into consideration. There will be food, but there won’t be a...party, as such. It’s… Because it is my child, they will be a prince or princess, and therefore, they must be presented to the Empire, once there is a reasonable expectation that they will survive. An old tradition.”

“How exciting!” Allura said. “But I assume there won’t be dancing.”

Lotor smiled a little wryly. “Unless there are unforeseen complications, we intend to hold the ceremony about a week after the birth.  _ I _ certainly won’t be dancing, but if you feel like it, Princess, by all means.” 

”I’m great with kids,” the Red Paladin said. “Babies  _ love _ me.” He moved a little closer, tentatively reaching out. “Can I-?”

Lotor caught his wrist. “Only if you want to lose your hand, Paladin.” He twisted the Paladin’s wrist a little harder, then let him go. 

Sendak barely bit back the growl that was building in his throat. How dare-

“Noted,” the Paladin gasped. 

“Will we get to hold the baby at the ceremony?” Allura asked. 

“No,” Lotor said, without explanation. He didn’t owe one; in Galra culture, children were very precious, and only close family really ever held infants. Even Sendak probably wouldn’t get to hold the baby very much for the first week or so.

They made a little more small talk, and finally the Paladins left. 

Lotor groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are they always so tiresome?”

“I don’t think they enjoy our company,” Sendak said.

“The feeling is mutual,” Lotor said. “I think Allura only makes an attempt because I’m half Altean, and the rest are too afraid to stand up to her.”

“Mm,” Sendak agreed. “Probably. It might be easier to bond with the little hybrid, but I understand that he’s with the Blade now.”

“Has been, darling, for years. I suppose he’ll make a good enough alpha one day, though. The Blades are always so meticulously polite.”

“And you do like a polite alpha, don’t you, my love?” 

“Mm.” Lotor kissed his cheek. “What happened to the Champion? Shiro, was it?”

“I believe they grounded him.”

“A shame, really. He was the only sensible one out of all of them. Very polite. Not an alpha, but I suppose one could make do.” 

More harmless teasing from Lotor, comfortable in its familiarity. Sendak pulled Lotor into his lap, so that he sat sideways. “You don’t have to make do.”

“That’s because I already have the best alpha in the universe,” Lotor said, stroking Sendak’s cheek for a moment before guiding him down for a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never been pregnant, and I don’t have plans to be, but apparently people think they can just Touch The Bump(tm)? Without asking? Wtf?


	24. Good Communication

“Everything looks normal,” Dr. Vrol said, concluding his examination of various scans. “Perfectly normal and healthy.”

No surprise there; Lotor took much better care of himself now that he was pregnant. Gods, if only Sendak could get him to take care of himself this well  _ after _ the baby was born…

“Can you tell how soon the baby will be born?” Lotor asked. 

“Between one and two weeks, I think. If you haven’t gone into labor at that point, Sire, we should consider inducing. Babies generally come when they’re ready, but if we wait too long, it’s possible that an unassisted delivery would be physically impossible.”

Lotor nodded thoughtfully. “How likely is it that I’ll go over?”

“Not very, Sire, but I do have to discuss your options, on the off-chance that things don’t go as planned.”

Lotor hummed. He liked that Dr. Vrol was thorough but sensible. He didn’t make Lotor worry unnecessarily, and that was good for everyone, but he did calmly discuss what would happen if there were unforeseen complications.

It was good for Sendak’s sanity, too. He tried to be calm and collected, for Lotor’s sake, but this was new to him, as well. 

Lotor did his best to stifle a yawn. “Please excuse me, Dr. Vrol. I don’t meant to be rude, but I fear that I cannot stay awake a moment longer.”

“Of course, Sire.”

Sendak helped Lotor stand -with between one and two weeks left, he was rather...unwieldy -and let him cling to his shoulders until he regained his balance. 

“Your Highness,” Dr. Vrol said, and it took Sendak a moment to realize that the doctor was addressing him; over five years and he still wasn’t used to that, “if I could have a few moments of your time?”

“Of course, Doctor,” Sendak said, glancing down at Lotor, who nodded sleepily. Softer, to Lotor, he said, “I’ll come check on you in a few minutes, alright?” 

Lotor nodded again, but Sendak could tell that he intended to be sound asleep by the time Dr. Vrol was done. He kissed Sendak on the cheek and went to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

“What can I do for you, Doctor?” Sendak asked, sitting down once more. 

“I find it’s useful to talk with my patients’ partners one-on-one, as the birth approaches. A lot of times, partners feel...left out of the process, even if they go to every appointment. Sometimes because they feel that they can’t ask any questions they might have in front of their partner. Sometimes, they feel the need to be strong and supportive, even if they’re deathly afraid inside. Mostly, it’s because they feel that anything they might say would distract from their partner’s needs.”

“How long did you say you’d been doing this?” Sendak asked. 

Vrol just smiled and shook his head. “A  _ very _ long time. So. Let’s talk.”

“I… I know Lotor is scared,” Sendak said after a moment. “He doesn’t really talk about it, but I know him too well for him to hide it. He’s been through a lot, and even though it’s over now, he still thinks about it.”

“The miscarriage? Or something else?”

“Both,” Sendak said. “He’s had a hard life, and he finds it difficult to trust people to be around him when he’s vulnerable, and…”

Vrol nodded. “I assume that’s why he doesn’t want to be attended.”

“That’s part of it,” Sendak agreed. “But he just feels more...comfortable, I guess, when it’s just us, and I- I suppose he thinks it will be easier that way.”

“There is a great deal of merit to that idea,” Vrol said. “A number of studies over the years have shown that births in hospital wards tend to be longer, more painful, and more prone to complications than births at home. Babies tend to deliver themselves, and interventions are rarely necessary, if the environment is stress-free and comforting.”

“But I don’t- I don’t know what I need to do. I mean, I know the general order of things, and how it all works, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, and-“

“Most alphas don’t like feeling helpless, especially when their mate is going through something as intense as childbirth,” Vrol said calmly. “There won’t be much you can do; as I said, babies tend to deliver themselves, and omegas know what to do, instinctively. Remember, they’ve been doing this since long before there were obstetricians.

“I’m leaving a set of monitors with you today, and those will alert me if something requires my attention. Otherwise… Mostly, you just need to be there for him. It will be an incredibly vulnerable time in his life, and he will feel so much safer with his alpha there.”

“I hate seeing him in pain. I know this is different, but…”

“It’s hard,” Vrol agreed. “I helped my mate deliver all four of our children, and it doesn’t get easier. But it doesn’t last, and when you hand your mate your newborn child, that pain is the very last thing on their mind, I promise you.”

Sendak nodded finally. He was just...nervous, and couldn’t quite shake the nameless terror lurking in the dark corners of his mind. Unnamed only because he refused to name it, to even think about-

Dr. Vrol took a few minutes to explain the purpose and placement of the monitors -one on Lotor’s wrist, one low on his abdomen, and one on the baby’s foot after it was born -before reassuring Sendak once more and leaving. 

Sendak sat for a little while, lost in his thoughts, before going to check on Lotor, like he’d said he would.

Lotor was curled up on his side, clutching Sendak’s pillow in his sleep, a tiny furrow in his brow. His dreams were more vivid now, apparently, and more upsetting.

Sendak bent down to kiss Lotor’s forehead, before deciding to join him. Lotor never minded, and it made Sendak feel better to know that if Lotor needed something, he was right there.

He curled protectively around Lotor, one hand on his belly. Tension melted off Lotor’s frame as he relaxed into Sendak’s embrace, a tiny smile replacing his frown. 

_ Much better _ . Sendak nuzzled Lotor’s mating bite for a few moments, before pressing a kiss to it and settling down to sleep. 

* * *

Lotor woke slowly, surrounded by warmth and comfort. Sendak, of course. Lotor found his protectiveness to be quite charming these days, though he had a feeling that, if he wasn’t pregnant, he would have found it to be a little much. 

Lotor turned over to face him, an awkward affair, with his belly as big as it was. But the baby would be here soon, and it would all be worth it. 

Sendak sleepily opened his eye. “Feel better?”

Lotor nodded. “How did your discussion with Dr. Vrol go?”

“Good.” That was all he seemed willing to say about it, but that was alright. 

It was late, nearing the middle of the sleep cycle. Something about that made it easier to talk to Sendak about things he didn’t like talking about. “Sendak, I- I’m afraid.”

Sendak tensed a little, ready to fight off anything that caused Lotor even the slightest discomfort. Unfortunately, some things could not be fought off physically. “What are you afraid of, my love?”

“So many things,” Lotor admitted. “What if something happens? To me, or to the baby? I… The miscarriage was early, but it- she was still my child. It still hurts, and I know that if something happens to this baby, then it will hurt more, and I don’t know if I can handle it. I want all the tragedy in my life to be behind me, but what if it isn’t?” 

“You can handle whatever is thrown at you, my love,” Sendak murmured. “You’re strong. And...whatever happens, I will be there with you.” 

“But what if you aren’t? Not because you left, but because… I did? What if something happens to me, Sendak? Childbirth isn’t as dangerous as it used to be, but there are still risks.”

“ _ Nothing _ is going to happen to you,” Sendak insisted. 

“You can’t promise me that,” Lotor said.

“You chose one of the best obstetricians in the Empire,” Sendak said. “He’s going to be remotely monitoring everything, just in case, and you’ve literally never been healthier in your life. You’re going to be fine, Lotor.”

“I hate it when you’re so reasonable,” Lotor grumbled, but it was nice that Sendak almost never got sucked up into his anxiety. 

Sendak kissed his forehead. “What else is bothering you, my love?”

Lotor sighed, wishing he could snuggle up closer to Sendak, but his belly was in the way. “I’m...afraid, that I won’t be able to...love our child,” he whispered. 

“Oh, Lotor,” Sendak said, in the tone that indicated his heart was breaking a little bit. “You love him so much already. Why would you-?”

“I don’t know,” Lotor said. “I don’t know. Just like I don’t know why my father couldn’t love me.”

“He was a cruel, evil man, incapable of love,” Sendak said. “It had nothing to do with you. I’m amazed that someone as amazing and wonderful as you could come from someone like that, but here you are.”

“I’m still afraid,” Lotor said after a few moments.

There was a long pause. “I’m afraid, too,” Sendak said quietly. ”I’m deathly afraid of losing you. I know it’s unlikely, but… There wouldn’t be anything I could do, and that terrifies me.”

“Just having you there will be enough,” Lotor said. The baby started moving, wriggling around as much as he was able; he was rapidly running out of room. Lotor guided Sendak’s hand down to his belly. 

Sendak smiled a little.

“Promise me something,” Lotor said.

“Anything,” Sendak breathed.

“If something does happen to me, promise me that you’ll take care of him. He’ll need you at your best. He’ll need to be loved and cherished.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Sendak repeated firmly. “But… I would. You know I would.”  He kissed Lotor’s cheek, pulling him as close as possible. 

Not quite close enough, in Lotor’s opinion, but it was temporary, and in a couple of weeks… 

“Thank you,” Lotor said. Sendak’s calm reassurances did a lot to ease his nerves. “Is there something I can do to make you less...worried?”

Sendak huffed a small laugh. “No, I doubt it. Just let me take care of you, alright? Let me be here.”

“Always.” Lotor kissed him, slowly, tenderly. “I love you.” 


	25. Galaxies

Sendak hadn’t thought that labor would be such a  _ long _ process. He’d expected the first sleepless night -apparently Galra usually went into labor in the middle of the night, and Lotor was no exception - and hadn’t been particularly surprised when Lotor woke him up to tell him that he was in labor (and had been for a few hours already).

He hadn’t expected the labor to stretch out all day and into the next evening. He’d been concerned enough to contact Dr. Vrol, although there hadn’t been anything to worry about on the monitors. These things took time, apparently, especially the first time. 

Lotor was Obviously Miserable, though, exhausted and in pain. Ready for this to be over. 

“Dr. Vrol says we’ll just have to wait,” Sendak said gently.

Lotor had enlisted Sendak’s help in re-arranging their furniture in an….interesting manner. Partially nesting instincts, partially the pregnancy-related paranoia, all of the furniture in their bedroom was now arranged so that any assaillants wouldn’t have a direct line of attack. They’d have to navigate the labyrinthine configuration, which had already led to Sendak running into something multiple times. 

There was a little nook between the wall and the bed, and that was where Lotor had decided to deliver their child, rather than the perfectly good nest he’d set up in the nursery.

(Sendak wasn’t about to argue with his mate, who was doing his best to deliver their child; he just didn’t understand.)

Still, the little nook was quite cozy, and Sendak had lined it with towels to make the clean up after easier, as well as assembled various other supplies they might need. 

Lotor glared. “Did you tell him that I have been in labor for twenty-one hours?”

“Yes.”

Lotor growled. Not at Sendak; just at the situation in general. 

“Drink,” Sendak said, settling next to Lotor and holding a glass of electrolyte solution to his lips. “You’ll feel worse if you get dehydrated.”

Lotor drained the glass grumpily. 

“Good,” Sendak said, helping Lotor maneuver until he was laying on his side with his head in Sendak’s lap. “Rest for a while, my love. The baby will come when he’s ready.”

“I’m just so tired,” Lotor whispered. “I want this to be over.”

Sendak stroked his hair soothingly. “I know, I know.” 

Lotor was shaking with exhaustion and emotion, and Sendak wished there was more he could do for him, but there really wasn’t. But Lotor seemed to find enough comfort in him just being here. It would have to be enough. 

Lotor rested for about an hour before pushing himself up into a sitting position. “Help me stand,” he said. “Moving around is supposed to help.”

As if Lotor hadn’t spent the better part of the entire day walking around their bedroom, trying to hurry things along. But he seemed to have regained some of his strength, and the baby needed to be delivered one way or another. 

Sendak helped him stand, and allowed Lotor to cling to him as his body was wracked by a strong contraction. A good sign; they’d stopped almost completely over the last few hours, so this had to be an indication of some sort of progress. 

“You can do this,” Sendak murmured. “You’ve been doing so well already.” 

Lotor remained clinging to him even after the contraction ended, not that Sendak minded. He was still shaking, after all, and Sendak was a little worried about him collapsing. Neither of them had really slept since the previous evening, but Lotor was doing all of the hard work. 

Lotor shook his head, burying his face in Sendak’s chest.

“Yes, you can,” Sendak said firmly. “You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can do this, it’s you.” 

Lotor was about to protest, but another contraction tore through him. They hadn’t been so close together before, so things were actually moving along after all. 

“It will be over soon,” Sendak said. “You can do this.” 

“I can’t,” Lotor whispered. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” Sendak soothed. “Of course you can. Let’s just get through this contraction first. Take them one at a time. Each one gets us that much closer to meeting our child. Aren’t you excited for that?”

Lotor nodded.

“That’s what you’re working toward, my love.”

Lotor nodded again, took a deep breath, squared his shoulders. The way he might before going into battle or a particularly dreaded meeting. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Sendak kissed his forehead. “That’s it.” 

* * *

After that, things seemed to move along more quickly, and by the time another three hours had passed, the baby was ready to be delivered. 

It amazed Sendak how well Lotor was coping. He couldn’t imagine going through something this intense for this long without losing it completely. After watching Lotor take it so well, he was filled with love and pride for his beautiful, perfect mate, and he made sure to tell him.

Lotor knelt with his head pillowed in his arms on the bed. Now that things were happening more quickly, he’d gotten lost in his own little world, so he was far more relaxed now than he had been earlier. He just...took things, as they happened, and didn’t try to fight it anymore.  

Sendak pressed a kiss to his mating bite, and Lotor sighed contentedly.

“You’re doing so well,” Sendak murmured. “You’re incredible, my love.”

Lotor started purring and didn’t stop, even as the next contraction began. 

It was that contraction that allowed Sendak to guide their child into the universe, through a series of pushes that took the last of Lotor’s energy. 

The baby started wailing immediately. 

“A boy,” Sendak murmured to Lotor, whose ears had flicked back as soon as the baby started crying. “An alpha.”

He would have been happy no matter what sex their child was, but some instinctual alpha part of him was inordinately pleased. More than was reasonable, probably. 

Sendak dried him off the best he could -the afterbirth would take a few minutes, and it was best to wait to cut the cord until after it had been delivered -which soothed him enough that he stopped wailing. 

Lotor was still leaning against the bed, but now he was completely limp, wrung out.  _ Exhausted _ . After twenty-five hours in labor, that wasn’t surprising. 

Carefully, so as not to get them all tangled up, Sendak sat back and pulled Lotor into his lap, the baby cradled in the crook of his elbow.

“Lotor? What do you think? Isn’t he perfect?” The baby was perfect, in Sendak’s totally unbiased opinion. Bright, golden eyes that would probably reveal irises the same brilliant blue as Lotor’s, when he was old enough for the nictitating membranes to retract. A crest of fur, like Sendak’s, but white. Soft, downy baby fur that covered him from head-to-toe. (He was tiny, too, but Sendak was smart enough to not say that in Lotor’s hearing for at least the next month.) 

Lotor turned away.

“Lotor?”

Lotor shook his head, but Sendak could see the tears that started streaming down his face. 

“Oh, Lotor, my love, what’s wrong?”

Lotor sobbed a little, like he was trying to stifle it, unsuccessfully, and now Sendak understood what the problem was. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Sendak said. “He’s perfect. He’s healthy. Just… Look at him, Lotor, please.”

The baby started whimpering then, a distress signal meant for Lotor, and Lotor alone. It was an effort for him to ignore it; he was fighting millions of years of evolution.

“He needs you, Lotor.”

Lotor fought a moment longer, then turned finally, with another barely-stifled sob.

Sendak kissed the top of his head and set the baby on his chest. The baby calmed immediately, and Lotor tentatively reached up to stroke his back.

The baby started purring.

Lotor was  _ enraptured _ . “Oh,” he whispered. He held the baby a little closer, nuzzling the top of his head; the baby only purred louder. “Oh. He’s  _ perfect _ .”

“He is,” Sendak agreed. He adjusted Lotor’s position in his lap a little, so he could fulfill the instinctive urge to knead Lotor’s belly; that would help deliver the afterbirth and minimize bleeding. 

Lotor relaxed even further, all his attention focused on their son. 

“It’s over,” Sendak murmured. “You did such a good job, my love. I know it was hard, but it’s over, and we have our son now.”

“Yes,” Lotor murmured back. “Yes, we do.”

* * *

Dr. Vrol came late the next afternoon to perform a routine postnatal exam on the baby. 

“He’s got a healthy set of lungs,” Sendak warned.

Dr. Vrol smiled. “That’s good. How is the Emperor?”

“Still asleep,” Sendak said. “I’m going to wake him in about an hour to see if I can get him to eat, but otherwise, I’ve been letting him sleep as much as possible.”

“The baby’s not interested in nursing?”

“A little, but only when he’s...presented the option.”

“It can take a day or two. Can I see him?”

Sendak was rather leery of handing his newborn to Someone-Who-Wasn’t-His-Mate, but Dr. Vrol seemed to understand. 

“Just unswaddle him. I won’t need to touch him.”

A better option; Sendak did, and Dr. Vrol performed a quick visual exam, then ran a scanner over the baby.

“Alright, bundle him back up before he wakes,” Vrol said, already glancing at the scans. “Everything looks normal. A healthy little alpha.”

Sendak smiled as he bundled his son back up. “Thank you, Doctor.”

“Were there any complications during or after the labor?” Dr. Vrol asked. “Anything I should be aware of?”

“Other than the length? No, I don’t think so.”

“Alright. In that case, I’ll be back in a few days to check on the Emperor. In the meantime, he should rest and eat well.”

Sendak had been going to make sure that happened anyway, but he nodded. “Thank you again, Doctor.”

Dr. Vrol stood. “It was an honor. Congratulations on your son, Your Highness, and if you ever require my services again, I would be happy to oblige.”

They’d talked about that, before the baby had been conceived, and they’d agreed they wanted a large family -the product of (literally or, in Lotor’s case, functionally) orphaned only children. But Sendak knew better than to bring it up now; he had a feeling that Lotor wouldn’t be terribly pleased about the idea of having another child just yet. 

“Of course, Doctor.” 

Dr. Vrol left, and Sendak went back to the nursery, where Lotor was curled up in the nest he’d built. Still sound asleep; again, after twenty-five hours of labor, Sendak wasn’t especially surprised. 

The baby had woken up, starting to fuss a little. Not loudly, and he calmed down when Sendak readjusted his hold on him, so that he was curled up against his shoulder.

Lotor’s ear flicked towards the sound, but otherwise he didn’t even stir. 

Sendak carefully entered the nest -it was quite structurally sound, but Lotor Knew if things were moved -and propped himself up against one wall, still holding the baby. In a few days, when Lotor was more rested and the baby’s appetite picked up, he wouldn’t get the opportunity very often, and he wanted to enjoy it now. 

In his sleep, Lotor turned over and snuggled up close to Sendak, purring softly. Sendak gently stroked his hair back, and Lotor relaxed further.

It had been hard to imagine, when he first realized that he loved Lotor, that he could ever possibly love him more than that, but that had been a single star compared to this galaxy, this  _ universe _ , that he and Lotor had created together. 

* * *

Lotor wished that this could have been put off a little longer, but one week was standard, and if he did wait any longer, it would call into question his health and the health of his child, and that would lead to a lack of confidence in his reign, and that…

He wasn’t up to answering any challenges, which meant Sendak would have to, and as much confidence as he had in Sendak, there was always a chance -however slim! -that he might lose, and that-

That couldn’t be allowed to happen.

He carefully sank down into the throne -everything below his rib cage was  _ sore _ -and took the baby from Sendak. 

He couldn’t resist pressing a little kiss to the baby’s forehead -there really never had been a more adorable baby, not that Lotor was biased or anything - before addressing the assembly. “We are pleased to announce the birth of our first-born. In the sight of the assembled Commanders of the Empire, in the sight of our honored guests, and in the sight of all the stars of the heavens, we present our son, Karzil, Prince of the Galra.”

There was polite, quiet applause, and then people began approaching the throne, to “inspect” Karzil for themselves. It was ritual, from the days when the Empire had been ruled by a hereditary monarchy, and there was an order to it. 

Karzil slept through the polite congratulations and platitudes; if given the opportunity, Lotor had a feeling that he’d sleep through a battle. 

When that part was over, the guests were directed to to the tables in the back, which were overloaded with food, and the mingling commenced. 

Lotor’s public appearance now was important -it convinced everyone that he had not, in fact, died, and that there was no need for a Kral Zera -so as much as he wanted to retreat back to the Suite and his nest, he couldn’t yet. 

A number of commanders that Sendak was friendly with took him aside, to offer other (probably bawdier) congratulations, but Lotor knew that Sendak was keeping an eye on him anyway.

Naturally, before he could quite slip away to the food -he was always starving now -Dayak accosted him.

“Congratulations, Sire,” she said, bending down to get a closer look at the baby.

“He bites,” Lotor warned. Karzil didn’t have any teeth yet  _ -thank the gods _ \- but still. 

“Ah, so fierce already,” she cooed. Which was odd. Lotor hadn’t met her until he was eight, having burned through several other governesses first, and had never seen her coo at anyone or anything. “Strong, just like his fathers.” 

Lotor couldn’t help but flush with pride at that. “Thank you.”

She talked for a few more moments, offering unsolicited parenting advice, before finally leaving.

He managed to snag something to eat and retreated to the small observation deck at the far end of the hall. The crowd was a little overwhelming, and there was a good view of a spiral galaxy from the deck. 

Karzil was awake now, and Lotor held him so that he could see. The acuity of his vision right now was up for debate, but it couldn’t hurt for him to practice focusing on faraway objects. 

He cooed, a pleased sound, seemingly unbothered by all the people and the noise. 

“That’s right,” Lotor murmured. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? It’s not perfect, but I’ve tried to make it better for you, my dear.”

“You’ve done an admirable job,” Allura said, from behind him.

He hadn’t even noticed, so caught up in his son. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said.

“No, not at all,” Lotor said, moving over a little to make room for her at the railing. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said softly, staring out at the galaxy before them. “You know that the Coalition is dissolving?”

“Yes.” He hadn’t done much in the way of public appearances lately, but he’d tried to keep up with the reports. “It’s not really surprising. They only came together for a single purpose, and now that that purpose has been fulfilled, it was inevitable that they would go their separate ways.”

She sighed. “Yes, I suppose so.” 

“You just weren’t expecting it to happen so soon, were you? It’s not a failure on your part, Allura; it’s just not needed anymore.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. There’s...nothing left for me. Altea is gone, the Coalition is gone, Voltron isn’t needed nearly as much anymore…”

“There’s an entire universe out there,” Lotor said. He recognized now what she was feeling: some of the same things he’d felt when he was young, when he had nothing. “See it. Learn from it. You’re young, Allura; you have so much ahead of you.”

She laughed a little. “I am older than you are.”

“Chronologically, yes, but I’ve lived more than you have. I’ve seen and experienced and-“ He shook his head. “You will find a place for yourself, Allura, or you will make one.”

“As you have?” She asked.

Lotor smiled, glancing down at Karzil, once more asleep. “It just takes time, Allura. Things change. It must have been difficult to wake up in a universe ten thousand years removed from everything you’ve ever known, but things can’t go back to the way they were then. You have to adapt.”

She was silent a long time, then finally nodded. “Yes, I suppose so. Thank you for your time. And congratulations.” 

Lotor spent a few moments alone with the baby before Sendak came up next to him. 

“Dayak wants to know how many more children we’re planning to have,” he said.

Lotor laughed. “Yes, I imagine she does. What did you tell her?”

“I told her that we hadn’t discussed it yet.”

They had, but that had been before Karzil was conceived; perhaps Sendak had thought that Lotor’s mind might have changed since then. Or perhaps he hadn’t wanted to share the personal details of their lives with anyone else. 

Lotor leaned up to kiss Sendak on the cheek. “I suppose we could have a few more children. One or two, at least. So Karzil won’t be lonely.” 

Sendak huffed a laugh. “It’ll be a few years before we have to make a decision.” 

Definitely true. His cycle may or may not be thrown off by pregnancy and nursing, but either way, he had at least  four years until his next heat (but probably more). 

“I love you,” Lotor said quietly, leaning up against Sendak’s side.

Sendak wrapped an arm around his waist, providing a little extra support. “I love you, too.” 


End file.
